Convalescence
by BlackSantaMan
Summary: Commander Shepard died with two pieces of unfinished business. The looming threat of the Reapers, and his unspoken feelings for a certain Quarian Machinist. Now with a second chance at life and love, he will make the most of both. ME2 Spoilers.
1. Prologue: Oblivion

**Well, here it is, my first fanfic. I hope everyone who reads this enjoys it, or can at least appreciate what I'm trying to do. All constructive criticism is welcome, I'd love to hear any feedback you can give me. **

**I need to give a shout out to Levi Matthews and his story "Finding a Way". It's a great story and was crucial in helping me develop and structure my own story, my prologue in particular is heavily influenced by his work. Check his story out here: .net/s/5705653/1/Finding_a_Way**

**A little background for the story. My Shepard was pretty much the default model you're given at the beginning of ME1. Default look, Soldier class, Earth-born, and Sole Survivor. I just felt that it was the best look for the character and I liked the personal history profile it provided the best. I tend to fall in line more often than not with the Paragon options in the game and that will be reflected here, although I go Renegade when I feel it is called for.**

**Disclaimer: No copyright infringement is intended. The world of Mass Effect and all of its planets, characters, histories, and story lines belong to the awesome folks at Bioware. I own nothing here.  
**

**Anyway, with out further ado, here it goes...  
**

* * *

**Prologue: Oblivion**

"They're coming around for another attack!" Shouted Joker, just as another energy blast slammed into what little bit remained of the Command Deck of the Normandy. Commander Shepard had barely a second to brace himself for impact as the ship was once again rocked by the awesome power of their anonymous attacker. Holding onto the bulkhead for support, Shepard steadied himself just in time to watch the Normandy be ripped in half by the latest barrage unleashed upon them.

As fire raged around him, Shepard took one last chance to survey the ship--_his ship_. One quick goodbye to the Normandy, and everything it represented for him. The Normandy represented the past year-and-a-half of Shepard's life. Many of Shepard's greatest achievements and happiest moments had occurred on this ship, as well as some of his hardest decisions and bleakest days. The Normandy was his home; it was where he felt content and secure. Now it was being torn apart, and yet its lingering shell was still keeping him safe from harm, shielding him one last time so that he might escape to fight another day.

As Shepard watched the destruction occurring around him, he was pulled from his reverie by the screech of twisting metal and filling his eardrums.

_Goodbye old friend, and thank you…but it's now or never_.

Quickly Shepard turned his attention back to Joker, still sitting in the pilots chair trying to save the ship despite Shepard's orders to get to the last escape pod. Deciding to not give Joker a say in the matter, he harshly yanked his pilot from his chair. "Ah! Watch the arm!" Joker yelled at him. He knew he had fractured Joker's arm as soon as he grabbed it, but he didn't have time to concern himself with the stubborn pilot's comfort. The Normandy had given them as much time to escape as it could, and they had greedily used every second of it. He draped Joker's now broken arm over his shoulder and as fast as was possible began hobbling to the last escape pod on the ship. It was only as he was getting Joker settled in the pod that Shepard spared a small glance to the current state of the ship to judge how much time they had left to make their escape.

He immediately regretted his decision. It was in that second of hesitation that a massive explosion sent him sprawling away from the pod and back towards the cockpit. He finally grabbed hold of a bulkhead and righted himself, hoping to make one last dash for the pod. Instead of seeing Joker however, he saw only screaming yellow fire. Shepard was only two meters away from salvation, but it might as well have been one hundred.

Shepard didn't want to think he was done for at that moment, it went against his very nature to do so. What kind of soldier would he be if he ever gave up that easily? He would have never survived half of the things he had seen if he had ever let himself be taken by the notion that survival wasn't possible. He had survived the slums of New York City, the thresher maw attack on Akuze, the suicide mission on Virmire, and the Battle of the Citadel. If there was one thing Shepard knew, it was how to survive impossible situations.

However, despite his ever present optimism, Shepard had no delusions of escape along with Joker in the pod. He didn't want to admit to himself, but in the back of his mind, he knew his luck had finally run out. Shepard would not survive this, but he knew he had to make sure that Joker would.

_God damnit, this is not how I hoped to end things._ He thought with a humorless smile. Doing the only thing he could at that moment, he swam over to the manual release control panel, located in what was left of the cockpit, for the pod in which Joker alone would escape.

"Commander!" Joker shrieked into his com-link as he saw Shepard reach for the manual release. How dare the Commander decide it would be okay for him to go down with the ship rather than Joker? Frankly, it pissed him off. If Shepard survived this, he would make sure the Commander got an earful about this. Right now though, all Joker could do was hope that Shepard would not push that button.

_I'm sorry Jeff, but this is it. Take care of yourself, and thanks for everything._ Shepard thought as he pushed the release and watched the pod door close, taking Joker, and any notion of hope Shepard had left of escape, with it.

"Shepard!" He heard Joker cry into his com, his voiced laced with so much fear and despair that it cracked on the last syllable of his name. He turned off his com-link after that; Shepard did not want to die like this, listening to Joker cry into his ear.

A sudden explosion caused the Normandy to shutter violently; the force of it shooting Shepard like a bullet against the one of the remaining walls of the ship. The angle and force with which he hit the wall caused him to bend backwards unnaturally with a loud crack. He let out a bloodcurdling scream as he felt his spine snap like a twig against the wall. _Fuck, my spine! _He thought as the metallic taste of blood hit his tongue. The pain was sharp and intense in his lower back for a brief moment before everything below his waist suddenly went numb. Now, with no control of his lower extremities, he floated slowly and aimlessly out into open space in nothing but his enviro-suit, and the two hours of air it contained.

As he floated in the vacuum, Shepard looked on as the Normandy slowly drifted down towards the planet below. As if to show its anger with him for not escaping when he could, the Normandy slowly began to catch fire, finally culminating in a final all consuming explosion.

_The last gasp,_ Shepard thought sadly. As he continued to drift, he could feel the pull of the gravitational field of the planet below him beckoning. It made him wish he had died in the explosion; being slowly burnt to a crisp as he was hurled at g-force speeds to the planet's surface was not something he was hoping to experience.

A hissing sound was the first thing to catch Shepard's attention. It was coming from his suit, and it was soon followed by an alarm sounding his helmet warning of de-pressurization. He could feel the skin on his neck freeze instantly where it encountered the sub-zero vacuum. Shepard futilely tried to cover the gashes in the neck of his suit, but in his panic he failed to recognize the multiple openings in the neck, legs, and chest plate of his suit. His breathing began to quicken as he franticly tried to keep himself from suffocating.

He ceased his struggling once his HUD gave him a read out of all the tears in his suit. Multiple tears with no way to repair them, there was no longer a reason for him to try and fight it anymore. He was going to slowly suffocate and then burn up in the atmosphere that he was rapidly approaching.

_Not like this, I can't go without a fight! _He scolded himself. He had always been an optimist--always knew he had a fighters chance--he had to be, if he hadn't been an optimist he would have still been living in the slums of New York on Earth, or dead already. But as life was slowly being sucked out of him, he finally began to give up hope.

He could feel his lungs shrinking as they were being deprived of more and more life-giving oxygen. His vision began to blur and his head started to spin with the lack of air, all he could hear was a distant ringing noise that slowly kept getting louder and more pronounced in his ears. With only a few more minutes of consciousness left Shepard's thoughts began to drift as he took stock of what he was being forced to leave behind.

He thought of his life on Earth and the Hell that had been for him. He couldn't remember what his mother looked like; he had been too young when she died to have any memory of her face. He couldn't remember anything about her--how she treated him, what line of work she was in, or how she had died. He had never met his biological father, and he had never really cared to, he still wasn't sure how he would have reacted, with anger or relief, had they met each other. He remembered joining the Reds when he was sixteen, and the first man he ever killed as a result of that decision, and how all of it had ultimately led to him enlisting in the Alliance Military two years later.

He remembered the thresher maws on Akuze and the massacre that ensued there. How he watched all of his friends die that night, and yet somehow had managed to survive and endure. The screams of his friends still haunted his dreams on occasion, as did the image of a bloodied hand slipping from his grasp as the man it was attached to was dragged beneath the surface of the planet. Being found a few days later by a rescue squad and having to explain what happened to them, reliving every detail. He was reminded of the rage he felt when he learned that Cerberus was behind the whole tragedy, all in the name of scientific experimentation, and how killing the last Cerberus operative involved in the incident had done nothing to ease his pain.

As Shepard's head began to cloud even further, his lungs screaming for more oxygen, he thought about some of the more recent developments in his too short life. The mission on Eden Prime was the first thing to enter his hazy mind. Jenkins, Geth, Nihlus, and husks all assaulted his mind in no particular order. _What a terrible mission_, he thought. He remembered the horror etched on Kaidan and Ashley's faces as they watched Sovereign take off from the planet's surface, as well as the pain of the information transfer from the Prothean Beacon to his unprepared mind.

He remembered the honor of being named the first human Spectre. It was still hard for him to believe sometimes, how he could have been the first choice? He knew it had as much to do with his skills as a soldier and a leader as it did with political aims--he knew that his life up to that point had pretty much been a recruitment vid waiting to happen. However, none of that changed the fact that it had been the proudest moment of his life, one he had shared with Captain Anderson, the man whom he held in such high regard, and whom he considered a father in so many ways; he had been on the edge of tears during the ceremony, his voice thick with emotion when he had accepted the title of Spectre from the Council.

His search for Saren and the discovery that the Reapers were more than just a myth entered his mind then. He remembered the planet hopping that occurred in trying to keep up with and stop Saren and his Geth army, killing the Thorian monstrosity on Feros, letting the Rachni Queen live on Noveria, and the costs of victory on both Virmire and the Citadel.

He thought of Kaidan Alenko and the quiet friendship they formed during their brief time together on the Normandy and hole that was punched through his chest when he had to make the decision to leave him behind to die on Virmire. Kaidan's death had reminded him so much of those lost on Akuze, and he was haunted by the pain for a long time afterwards. He thought of Garrus Vakarian, the young hot-headed turian who believed in justice at all cost. Garrus reminded him so much of himself that if Garrus weren't so damn ugly they could be brothers. Urdnot Wrex, the krogan mercenary who ironically might have been the most loyal and dependable person Shepard had ever met. He chuckled mentally when he thought of Liara T'Soni and her disarming naivety when it came to dealing others. She was a breath of fresh air in a galaxy where everyone always had a secondary agenda.

He was brought out of his reminiscing briefly by the screech of his suit warning him that its oxygen reserves were now depleted. He took one final gulp of what little air was left in his suit and steeled himself for the slow agony of suffocation. The loud ringing in his ears had grown to deafening levels, as if a thermal grenade had exploded right next to him, it made it almost impossible for him to think about anything. Everything appeared so distant to him now, as if he was staring out at the world from a long black tunnel. It was so nauseating that he had to close his eyes in order to focus on what he wanted his last thoughts to be.

He thought of the two people on the Normandy that he would miss the most as he began to lose consciousness, Tali'Zorah nar Rayya and Chief Ashley Williams. A large goofy-grin plastered itself to his face when he thought of them. _The girl next door and the head cheerleader_, he laughed. He had never stood a chance when it came to Ashley Williams. They were complete opposites in so many ways, and yet they had complimented each other so well, as opposites so often tend to do. Ash had no filter; Shepard was thoughtful and often terse. Ash was religious and read poetry; Shepard thought there was no God and was hardly what you would call a romantic. Ash always got what she wanted and Shepard tended to be a people pleaser. However, despite these differences he couldn't deny the connection they had, one moment they would be arguing heatedly over the place of aliens on an Alliance vessel, the next they would be laughing and flirting while discussing differences between various assault rifles. He had a feeling that things would have never worked out between them, but he couldn't deny that he loved her.

Tali on the other hand, had been a missed opportunity. The chemistry between them was obvious, at least to him, and he had gotten the feeling on more than one occasion that she felt the same way. She was quiet and thoughtful, and had a kindness and determination that Shepard truly admired. She had been thrown head first into whole the bizarre Saren situation and had taken it in stride, eager to prove not only her worth, but the worth of the quarian people during that mission. He remembered giving her the geth data they had found in the Armstrong Cluster (much to the displeasure of several human crew members), and how ecstatic she had been when he had given her a copy of the data to take back to the Migrant Fleet, her reaction, and he hug she gave him--perhaps a little too close and sensual given their status as just friends-- made him smile even now, as he felt his life fading rapidly.

In his final moments he mentally kicked himself for letting the potential for a relationship between them pass by. He knew why he hadn't tried--he and his human crew had almost no experience dealing with aliens at the time, and he had worried that a relationship with an alien would hurt crew relations and moral, that many of humans would view him as a race-traitor. He thought he couldn't risk the cohesion and success of the mission for a relationship with her. Shepard had been proven wrong though, as the human and alien crew members had slowly come together and began to ignore their differences, but by that time it was too late to explore any feelings he had for Tali. Not to mention the fact that any kind of physical intimacy between the two of them would have probably killed her.

He shook his head, disappointed in himself for his cowardice; it was the last movement Commander Jack Shepard made as the light finally faded from his field of vision. He pressed his mouth into a hard line, and begrudgingly surrendered to the darkness surrounding him, and Jack Shepard's now lifeless body began to gain speed as it entered the atmosphere.

* * *

**Yes, the name Jack Shepard is most definitely a reference to Lost. It's the first thing that came to my mind when I first played ME1, I couldn't help myself.  
**

**More to come soon.  
**


	2. Chapter 1: FreedomYeah Right

**So here it is, the first official chapter of my story! Hope you guys all enjoy it, it's a little background on what Tali is up to before the meeting at Freedom's Progress and how her life is going, and why she is there in the first place.**

**I need to give a shout out to Levi Matthews and his story "Finding a Way". It's a great story and was crucial in helping me develop and structure my own story, my prologue in particular is heavily influenced by his work. Check his story out here: .net/s/5705653/1/Finding_a_Way**

**I want to thank everyone who checked out this story and gave it a read, to see how many unique hits this story got for the prologue alone was mind blowing. Everyone who put this story on their alerts, favorites list, author alerts, and especially those that left me reviews, thank you so much. For someone that is writing their first fanfic to get just one author alert or review for the first chapter is great, and to get all that you've given me makes me so glad I finally sucked up my fears and actually typed this stuff up. So here's to you guys, cheers.**

**Disclaimer: No copyright infringement is intended. The world of Mass Effect and all of its planets, characters, histories, and story lines belong to the awesome folks at Bioware. I own nothing here.**

* * *

**Chapter 1: Freedom...Yeah Right**

_**Two Years and Ten Days Later: Quarian Migrant Fleet**_

It had been two years since his death, and yet she still thought of him.

Tali'Zorah vas Neema--changed from nar Rayya after her Pilgrimage had been completed-- knew it was stupid, pathetic even, that she still thought of Jack Shepard in the way that she did. They had only been close friends, nothing beyond that, and yet she couldn't shake the feeling that they had both desired something more.

Tali had found herself oddly attracted to him; Shepard had been handsome and very charming…for a human. But most creatures, in the galaxy rarely found those outside of their own species attractive, aside from the asari at least--but asari were designed to appeal to all. Humans shared several features with quarians for sure, but Tali had never found any of them very attractive before she met Shepard--the five fingers and toes were beyond bizarre and seemed redundant, and then there was all that hair. It had been Shepard's eyes that had made the difference though; the soft blue in them was disarming. She had lost her thoughts staring into his eyes more than once while they were on the Normandy together…

She huffed in anger as she stared down at the empty bag on the cot in front of her, _and I'm doing it again!_ She reprimanded. This had really become a sickening trend for her; he was dead and never coming back. It had been two years, why did she still do this? Things would have never worked between them, he was human, she was quarian, her atrophied immune system would prevent any true intimacy, and then there was his relationship with Ashley Williams. Those were just a few of the things that would have made it impossible. This wasn't healthy, normal people didn't do this. She knew deep down that it stemmed from regret. Regret for not at least trying to see if they could have had a semi-normal relationship.

Tali pushed these thoughts to the back of her mind. She had far more important things to take care of at the moment than daydreaming about a relationship with a dead man. She had received orders from the Admiralty Board to go to Haestrom, a former quarian colony that was now controlled by the geth. She didn't fully understand the Admiralty's reasons for sending her there; they had been rather vague in their reasoning, stating only that it was a mission of tremendous importance. The only hard facts she had gotten were that it had something to do with Haestrom's sun aging too rapidly. Apparently it was decaying at an abnormally accelerated rate, and the Admiralty wanted to know why.

The problem was that it was a suicide mission with no point to it. Haestrom was in the heart of geth-controlled space, even with how small both the science team and marine contingent they were sending in were, the chances of them all coming back alive were slim. Tali could feel her face getting hot in anger the more she thought about it. Why did the Admiralty Board so desperately want information regarding Haestrom's sun, and why was the Board being so secretive about what they hoped to gain from the information they would be gathering there? Why were they willing to throw so many lives away for information on a sun? Quarians had not lived on Haestrom in over 300 years, it did not have vast resource deposits--it was a ghost planet. From what little intel they had, even the geth hardly used it for anything outside of weapons testing and various research experiments.

The Admiralty Board was tenser than it had ever been as far as Tali could remember; perhaps this mission had more to do with politics than gathering any actual information--a pissing contest between Zaal'Koris and Han'Gerrel to try and prove the other wrong on the subject of whether to launch a war to retake the Homeworld, or to try and begin colonizing a new planet for the quarians. As of now, war was the popular option among most of the population.

War. War was on everyone's mind. Resources were getting harder and harder to find, especially as more and more systems attempted to find ways to block the Flotilla from entering their space. The quarians were getting restless, and many hoped to eradicate the geth and retake the Homeworld. Tali was one of them, if she was being honest with herself. It would be a flat out lie for her to say she did not dream of a day when she wouldn't be restricted by her damned enviro-suit, and be able to see her father's face for the first time unobstructed, and to have him do the same.

She once again let out a heavy sigh as she grabbed her bag and made for the Neema's shuttle bay. There was change in the air on the Flotilla, whether it was good or bad didn't really matter, she just had a feeling that everything she knew would soon change irrevocably. They would soon either be heading into a potentially suicidal war with the geth, or they would be attempting to set up a permanent settlement somewhere that would take several generations for them to adapt to.

"You're late Tali'Zorah! We don't have time to waste while you daydream about your glory days saving the galaxy." Prazza hollered sarcastically at her. Of course it would be Prazza who yelled that at her, he always took advantage of any chance he got to try and knock her down a peg.

Tali was the last member of the Haestrom team to arrive at the bay, in total there were ten scientist/engineers, including her, and a squad of twenty-five marines. They would be taking two shuttles to Haestrom, to allow for more research space as well as to better their chances of survival and success. Tali was the head of the science team while Kal'Reegar would head up the marine contingent, Prazza was Reegar's second-in-command. Although Tali's position as the lead scientist meant she outranked Prazza, it did not stop him from questioning her decisions and treating her as an annoyance rather than a team member.

"Prazza, must you be such a bosh'tet all the time?" Tali sighed; she did not want to have it out with Prazza again, for the millionth time. "I am not late, I'm exactly on time, it's not like Haestrom is going to disappear if we leave thirty seconds later than planned." She knew Prazza was looking for a fight, they had never gotten along.

"I'm surprised you actually came at all. This is a pretty dangerous mission. I figured your father had pulled strings to get you a safer assignment when you didn't show up at first. After all, we wouldn't want the princess to get hurt would we?" He spat at her. Tali clenched her fists trying to restrain her rage--she wanted nothing more than to ring his neck right now.

The bad blood between Prazza and Tali went way back. They had grown up together on the Rayya and left for their Pilgrimages' at roughly the same time. Prazza had never liked the fact that Tali's father was a member of the Admiralty Board, a fact he reminded her of every chance he got. He felt it gave her special privileges, and that it made her think she was above those around her. He couldn't have been further from the truth, but after several heated arguments with him Tali had realized that he would never see past his own jealousy. In truth Tali had been jealous of Prazza on more than one occasion. He had a mother who was still alive and a real relationship with his father.

Prazza had returned from his Pilgrimage before Tali with an old passenger ship from Omega that was in relatively good condition--to a great deal of fanfare. A few months later however Tali had returned from her own Pilgrimage with the rare geth data Shepard had given her, as well as the story of stopping Saren and his geth army from destroying the Citadel. All the praise Prazza had received was quickly lost in the in aftermath of Rael'Zorah and Han'Gerrel's declarations that the data was invaluable in its potential to help retake the Homeworld. It had all just served to reinforce his jealousy.

Now Tali would be stuck with him for at least six months, maybe more. "Just get in the damn shuttle Prazza, I'm not in the mood for your jealousy today" she groaned.

"Why would I ever be jealous of you?" Tali could practically hear him roll his eyes as he said it. She was mentally preparing herself for more when they were interrupted.

"What's the problem here Tali; Prazza?" Kal'Reegar stated more than asked, as he appeared behind Tali, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Nothing that requires your presence Reegar" Prazza muttered. "We were just finishing up here, and getting ready to board the shuttle." With that he quickly turned and made his way towards the shuttle. Kal and Prazza were both marines, but Kal outranked Prazza and was in charge of the entire mission, there was no way that Prazza would pick a fight with him.

"Thanks Kal, but you really shouldn't have done that, now he will just harp on me about how I can't fight my own battles" Tali lamented as she turned to face him.

Kal gave her shoulder an affectionate squeeze, "you know you could come on my shuttle if you like, we have room and there's no Prazza. We can just switch you out with the head engineer on my shuttle." Tali could make out the vague motion of a wink behind Kal's visor, as she saw one of his shining eyes disappear for a quick moment--she could also hear the smile, and hope, in his voice.

Tali sighed as she tried to subtly guide her shoulder out of Kal's grasp. She knew Reegar had hopes that the two of them could be more than just friends. She didn't return the feeling, although she had to commend Kal for his persistence in trying. He was a good man, he reminded her a lot of--_no, don't even think about that, and don't make the comparison._ She looked up at Reegar who was waiting ever patiently for her to explain herself. "Kal, I don't think that would be appropriate, besides we need to have a ranking officer on both ships." Her excuse sounded lamer out loud than it even did in her head.

"You're right Tali'Zorah, the mission comes first" Reegar stated, all business now--like a true marine--the smile completely gone from his voice. "I'll see you on Haestrom ma'am". With that he turned to head towards his shuttle leaving her standing there awkwardly.

As she watched Kal march away Tali felt like complete shit, what did she have to hold against Kal? Why couldn't she just give him a chance? Who cared if things didn't work out, at least she would be trying for once rather than just making up excuses, a steady relationship didn't have to mean linking suit environments as soon as possible and kids right away--why was she thinking about children anyway? Her resolve strengthened for a moment and the words just suddenly came out, "Kal, wait!" She shouted, causing Kal to stop and turn slowly to face her. She set her shoulders as he turned to look at her, "I'm sorry that I'm so difficult sometimes, it's just…I don't know what it is, but what I do know is that I have been unfair to you." She took a deep breath in order to say the rest in one go, "You have been nothing but kind and understanding with me, and patient--Keelah, have you been patient with me. Just give me some time; after this mission is over perhaps…" she sighed trailing off. Her face felt hot; if she didn't know better she would have sworn she had a fever, "perhaps I'd be willing to try and see if there could be more between us." When she had finished she let the remaining air out of her lungs with a whoosh. She couldn't believe she had just said that.

Kal'Reegar casually walked back to where he had left Tali standing, when he reached her, he took her right hand in both of his. "That's awfully kind of you ma'am, I'd like that a lot." The smile was back in his voice as he gently squeezed her hand. "I'm a patient man as you well know" he laughed, "and my father said persistence always pays off in the end, looks like there might be some truth to that after all." Tali tried to keep herself from grimacing as she shook her head, although she was positive that there was a goofy grin plastered on Kal's as well.

"You've been a great friend Kal, I owe you as much" she murmurs.

"You don't owe me anything Tali, you're a good friend, I just see a potential for something special is all, and hopefully in a few months you'll understand what I mean." Kal almost whispers back, as if he's embarrassed to say it--it only serves to make Tali blush more; making her even more grateful for her the tint in her visor hiding her face.

"Thanks Kal…I'll see you on Haestrom" she said, taking her hand back and gathering her bag.

"You will indeed Tali'Zorah" he replied, heading in the opposite direction.

_Keelah, what have I gotten myself into with this?_

_

* * *

  
_

_**Two Days Later: Terminus Systems**_

"Tali, we have a message coming in from the Migrant Fleet, I'm patching it through to your omni-tool now," the message came over the intercom of the shuttle--immediately followed by the orange glow of Tali's omni-tool activating. A small hologram of Admiral Shala'Raan appeared in Tali's palm with a pre-recorded message.

"Greetings Tali'Zorah, I am sending this message as a request for your assistance in an important matter in which I have a personal stake" the recording begins. "My nephew Veetor is currently on his Pilgrimage and has gone missing. His last transmission stated that he was on the human colony known as Freedom's Progress. We have tried to get in contact with him and the colony since, but all com-lines are down. While normally this would not be a cause for concern, the recent string of vanishing human colonies in the Terminus Systems has Veetor's mother and I worried that Veetor may have met a similar fate."

Tali knew where this was going, ever since she had returned from her Pilgrimage two years ago many quarians had misinterpreted the extent of Tali's relationship skills with humans. Many had taken Tali's time on the Normandy to mean that she knew how to handle most humans and that she got along well with them--that she was a sort of quarian-human ambassador. In reality she had only ever gotten along with five humans--Shepard, Engineer Adams, Joker, Kaidan, and to a lesser extent Navigator Pressly. Aside from those five, she had had very little experience in terms of civil interactions with humans. She shook her head as the message continued to play.

"Because of your background in human-quarian relations, we would like you to investigate what has happened to Veetor on Freedom's Progress. If you find him please bring him back to the Fleet at once. Please be mindful of the fact that Veetor tends to be a bit skittish, so please be gentle with him." _Well that will certainly make things exciting, won't it?_ Tali groaned internally. "I am forwarding the coordinates to Freedom's Progress to your omni-tool; it is not very far out of your way and will not distract you long from your primary mission. Thank you Tali'Zorah, Keelah Se'lai." Her omni-tool then darkened.

_Could this mission get any worse?_ Tali again groaned to herself. She was already going on a suicide mission in geth space for data on a decaying-sun that she saw no practical use for, she was being forced to work alongside Prazza who hated her, she had just promised Kal'Reegar to try and see if a relationship could work between them--more out of a sense of guilt rather than actual want, and now she was going to a missing human colony to try and find a neurotic quarian and Keelah knows what else. Where was the Normandy when you needed it?

Tali quickly opened a com to the bridge, "Prazza, there's been a change of plans, I'm forwarding coordinates to a human colony called Freedom's Progress; we have to find someone there before heading to Haestrom. After you put in the coordinates please send a message to Reegar regarding the change of plans?"

"You and your humans Tali'Zorah--this is a waste of time!" Prazza yelled into the com.

"We aren't going for humans, we are going to pick up a quarian-- his name is Veetor--Admiral Shala'Raan wants him picked up and brought back to the Flotilla. If you have a problem, take it up with her, not me!" She yelled back, she wouldn't be able to take much more of this, Prazza was a nightmare.

"Fine, fine it's done your highness; we will be at Freedom's Progress in approximately ten hours." Prazza muttered reluctantly.

"Thank you, Prazza" Tali sighed as she cut the com-link and the ship began to change course for the human colony. _I wonder what we'll find there_, Tali wondered idly. She had heard the rumors about human colonies disappearing but had never given it much thought. _Probably just pirates or slavers_, she convinced herself as the shuttle hurdled towards its new destination.

* * *

**After picking up Tali on Haestrom I always got this feeling that there was something between her and Kal'Reegar, it was probably me just being weird and shit, but who knows until ME3 comes around.** **Also, I wanted to explore the animosity between Tali and Prazza, it kind of gives more credit to Prazza ignoring Tali's orders on Freedom's Progress in my opinion.**

**Anyway, thanks for reading and more to come soon.  
**


	3. Chapter 2: Good Morning, Good Morning

**Um hey everybody, how are things? *stares at feet and shuffles awkwardly* So yeah, sorry for the long delay in between chapters. I've been kind of busy with school. Actually really busy. Four 5-page papers due within two weeks of each other and two mid-terms on top of that, plus research on the MOVE Group for my Senior-Seminar have made writing...difficult. But, that's all excuses, I can't quit on this! We're just getting started! **

**So this chapter is dedicated to all of you, the people who read this and make me feel crappy for not posting regularly! Thanks for all the hits, adds, and favorites. This round of drinks is on me, provided you are 21 years of age and are drinking domestic only. Cheers!**

**Disclaimer: No copyright infringement is intended. The world of Mass Effect and all of its planets, characters, histories, and story lines belong to the awesome folks at Bioware. I own nothing here.**

**

* * *

**__

**Chapter 2: Good Morning, Good Morning**

****_**Cerberus Lazarus Station: Two Years and Ten Days after Destruction of Normandy**_

Time was a strange thing when you had no concept of it. Right now, Jack Shepard had no concept of it; all he knew was that at some point in time his level of consciousness had changed. It was like he had woken from a dreamless sleep. No memories of the time that had past, only the knowledge that it had passed. He was still encased in darkness however. He couldn't feel the weight of his limbs even as he tried to move them, couldn't hear anything around him, and couldn't see anything past the blackness of his mental prison.

_If this is what death is like Ash is going to be very, very disappointed._ If he was being honest with himself, he was disappointed too. He didn't want to spend the rest of forever like this. This pitch black purgatory would drive him insane. He wanted to go back to the dreamless sleep he was in before, if he had to be dead-- and if there was indeed no afterlife--he preferred to have no awareness.

Shepard laid there for a long while doing nothing, trying to keep his mind blank. He refused to let his mind reflect on anything, knowing that would lead to depression and anger. He was miserable enough already. There was no need to think about the life he left behind, the things he hadn't accomplished, and never would…

* * *

_**Cerberus Lazarus Station: Two Years and Twelve Days after Destruction of Normandy **_

Something had changed. It began with what felt like pins and needles poking and prodding Shepard's entire body. It was the similar to feeling you got when the blood final rushed back to your arm after it had fallen asleep. Tiny pricks that weren't painful, just uncomfortable. _I'll take it. Anything to feel something again. _It was the first true sensation he had felt in he didn't know how long, and it was accompanied by a noise--a constant thudding sound. His heart? It couldn't be! He was dead, relegated to a Hellish purgatory devoid of vision and feeling. How could this be happening? The thud of his--it was hard to think it--heart was becoming more pronounced, the prickling occurring in his extremities occurring more frequently and becoming more painful.

_What is happening to me?_

The sound of his heart had become suddenly deafening to his ears, the feeling in his limbs had transformed from a tingling to a scorching fire. It was loud and excruciatingly painful. He was in pure agony, and began to scream--or at least he thought he was screaming. Every fiber of his being was on fire, protesting whatever it was that had caused such a sudden and violent change. His muscles felt like they were going to burst and his skin felt like it would begin to peel off at any second.

As his mind raced to process the sudden onslaught of stimuli to his long dormant senses, a new tone caught Shepard's attention. It was voice, one he didn't recognize; it was far away and faint. It sounded as if it was coming from a different lifetime--a different plain of existence. It was unintelligible at first, sounding like muted mumbling. He wasn't even sure if it was addressing him, or if it was even real. Had he finally snapped? Had the unknowable amount of time he had spent isolated from his senses and the world around him caused his mind to hallucinate? The pain, the disembodied voice, _his heartbeat_--had they all been caused by a mental break? What if it wasn't a mental break, what if this--whatever it was--was really happening to him, what did that mean?

"Wake up, Commander!" The disembodied voice finally yelled clearly. Shepard was taken aback by the sudden clarity his hearing now possessed; just a moment ago he could barely distinguish the mumbling voice from his own heartbeat. Now he could clearly define it as a woman's voice…an angry woman's voice. She had an accent as well, and one he recognized.

"Shepard, do you hear me? Get out of that bed now--this facility is under attack!" The woman's voice yelled at him, harsher and clearer now than before. Her accent was Australian, indicating two things; she came from Earth, and had plenty of money and privileges. If you were from Earth, you were either dirt poor, like Shepard, or you were wealthy beyond belief. Accents were a clear indicator of one's socio-economic status on Earth. Australia on Earth had become a sort of playground for the rich and wealthy. It was littered with huge compounds and beach front properties catering exclusively to the richest and most powerful people Earth had to offer. Many of the planet's most influential--and dangerous--people held either permanent or secondary residences in Australia--and thanks to countless vids, he had always dreamed of going there as a kid.

_If that's the case, this might be worse off now than I was being dead._ He thought with a grimace, still trying to fight the pain coursing through his veins like liquid fire. Shepard felt his body and the bed he was laying on shake violently as if to punctuate the angry woman's point. _I have to move, I have to leave, I don't know how this is possible, but I will find out_, he silently vowed.

Mustering all the strength and resolve he had in him, Shepard forced his eyelids to open; shocked that they obeyed his command, but he slammed them shut just as quickly, the harsh white light of the room blinding him. He hollered more in shock then in pain as black flecks danced behind his eyelids, the white light of the room still penetrating his closed visage. He reached up to shield his eyes further from the offending lights wincing when his hand reached his face. His face burned at the feel of his fingers against it; the skin was overly sensitive and felt raw. As he brought his hand down to his jaw line he winced as even sharper pain shot through his face. He could feel several deep unhealed gashes across the right side of his jaw. Out of habit he began to run his fingers along the new divots in his skin to explore them, hissing at the pain his mind registered every time he pressed his finger too deeply into one.

_I can't believe this…how…why…am I alive?_ Shepard gasped as he finally reopened his eyes to the world around him. His vision was blurry from tears and general lack of use; he could barely make out the room he was in. It was a laboratory of some sort, that was for sure, but the edges of everything in the lab were fuzzy and difficult to make out, and he noticed he had very little depth perception. He couldn't tell where the white walls began and the white floors ended, couldn't tell the difference between each of the machines in the small space, couldn't make out what the orange--or was it yellow?--emblem on the wall across from his was. A diamond maybe? Shepard was brought out of his reverie once again by the woman's voice,

"Shepard, your scars aren't healed, but I need you to get moving. This facility is under attack." Her voice wasn't as angry as before, but it still held an impatient edge to it. He released his jaw, which he had forgotten he was still holding and attempted to get up. He let out a guttural scream as he sat up, grabbing his waist in a futile attempt to contain the excruciating pain that kicked him right in the stomach. As the pain slowly embed and his body acclimated to the new position, he let out a painful sigh, realizing that his body was going to fight him tooth and nail the whole way through this. It had been God knows how long since he had used it, his muscles were unaccustomed to movement, the pain attested to that.

Shepard tried once more to examine the room around him, his vision having slightly improved since his initial attempt at opening his long dead eyes. There were what appeared to be windows at the far end of the room from the bed he was laying on, and on the opposite side of them he could make out an orange flickering. Flames.

_Where the fuck am I, and why the fuck does it have to be on fire?_ He moaned internally, his vision was still hazy at best, but his hearing, he noticed was fine, and the distinct sound of weapons fire and human screams could be heard all around him. Despite the apparent war going on around him, it was at that moment that Jack Shepard noticed one startling truth…he was bear-ass naked. _This just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?_ He mused as he looked down and examined his body, noticing that the number of recognizable scars he carried had apparently doubled from twenty-three to forty-six. _The Australian woman wasn't kidding about the scars! _He laughed as he continued to look at the body he had been so sure was lost to him forever, _Never thought I'd see you again_, he laughed harder as he concluded his brief inspection.

"There's a pistol in the locker on the other side of the room. Hurry!" The voice badgered him. With a renewed sense of urgency Shepard threw his legs over the side of the table to stand up, doing his best to try and ignore the discomfort the action caused. He gently placed his feet on the floor and pushed himself up off the bed in one swift motion. Perhaps too swift a motion, as it caused the blood to quickly rush from his head, causing a sea of stars to burst from his recovering vision and his head to spin like a top.

And just like that, Jack Shepard found himself lying on the ground, completely naked and completely helpless. As his head continued to spin he was once again assaulted by the woman's voice, angry and more frustrated than it had been before, "We don't have time to wait around, Shepard! Grab the bloody pistol!"

Starting to become irritated, and realizing that she could see him, Shepard yelled back at the ceiling, "I'm sorry I'm taking so long! But as you may recall, I did only just come back from the dead, and in case you haven't noticed I'm naked!" He finished, gesturing to himself with his hand to make his nakedness even more explicit. He pushed himself up off of the floor slowly, making sure to not overexert his still waking muscles. Once he reached his feet the voice spoke again, this time the anger laced with sarcasm and amusement.

"I understand that this is all very confusing for you, and I know these are not the optimal circumstances for awakening you" she sighed, "but it is imperative that you get armed and get moving, your armor is in the locker with the pistol, put it on" she finished.

With this new information Shepard steadily made his way towards the locker across from where he stood. His legs shook as he walked, acting as if they were learning to walk for the first time again. As he crossed the room, he felt himself begin to level out more and more, his equilibrium returning to him. When he reached the locker he ripped it open and smiled. Staring back at him was his--or at least a replica of his--N7 armor. His shining black armor complete with red stripe down the right arm was laying right in front of him staring up at him. _Finally, some good news_, he smiled as he began to put on the individual sections of armor.

"This pistol doesn't have a thermal clip in it." Shepard stated bluntly to the ceiling, now comfortably encased in the familiar armor.

"You'll just have to find one along the way to the shuttle bay" The voice continued sarcastically, "I shouldn't need to hold your hand Shepard, that's not why we brought you back, my only goal now is making sure you get yourself safely to the shuttle bay as soon as possible." She finished with icy determination.

Pushing his myriad number of questions down for the time being Shepard was all business, "What's the situation exactly? How do I get to the shuttle bay?"

"Someone has hacked station security…I think they're trying to kill you," she huffed into the comm. "The station is flooded with LOKI mechs and at least three YMIR's, I can walk you from your current location to the shuttle bay from where I am but it's going to be a fight getting there." Her voice took on a more clinical tone as she said "Shepard, I'm sure you've realized that your body is not at one hundred percent yet. You need more time for your muscles to acclimate to usage again; your body isn't going to respond how you're used to it responding."

Shepard grimaced, in the short amount of time he had been awake--alive--he had noticed how sluggish and uncoordinated he was. He could only hope that it would wear off sooner rather than later. "Understood" he said with authority, "Let's get the Hell out of here."

Shepard made his way out of the room, finding several clips in between to the remains of a LOKI mech and a dead scientist on his way. As he cautiously traversed the halls of the station he could feel his body struggling to meet to his demands. His movements were taking extra effort to execute, and he already felt tired and dehydrated. His vision had improved greatly from when he first regained consciousness, he was seeing clearly, but the world still blurred around the edges. He was already panting when he entered a large observation room that looked down upon the lab he had just been in. The room was large and open, containing several different observation and data terminals.

_I need answers; who are these people?_ He thought as he looked around the room, again taking note of the familiar yellow symbol on the wall. _I know I've seen that before, but where? I have too many Goddamn questions._ He groaned.

The doors at the opposite end of the room suddenly opened, and he recognized the familiar mechanized footfalls of LOKI mechs as they began to pour into the room. "Shepard take cover! You have five mechs converging on your position!" The woman shouted with distant concern just as he dove behind one of the clear Plexiglas barriers positioned throughout the room. _No fucking shit lady!_ He thought acidly as he checked his pistol, a standard M-3 Predator, nothing fancy about it, but it would do. Shepard knew the pistol wasn't the problem, it was him. His head was already swimming and he could see that his hands were shaking from exhaustion.

He couldn't help but laugh, "What a way to go out! I die only to be brought back to life so I can die again because my body can't take the stress!" It was truly an absurd universe. He shook his head trying to clear it. He wasn't going to die like this...again, but then again he didn't think he was going to die before and look what happened there, he reasoned. _What happened to being a Goddamned optimist?_ He mused. Steeling his resolve Shepard popped quickly out of cover to take down the closest mech, missing its head by almost a meter. He dropped back down just as fire from all five mechs flew over his head, barely missing by centimeters. Shepard once again tried to focus his thoughts and ignore the burning all over his body. His arms and legs were burning, and his vision was once again starting to blur. _Where are Garrus and Tali when you need them?!_ He thought idly.

Shepard brought himself up once more, aiming this time for the torso of one of the mechs; he squeezed off three quick shots, all of which connect with the target. The mech exploded in a satisfying display of sparks and circuitry, its vocal processor gurgling as what little remained of it fell to the ground. Shepard dropped back down with a sigh of relief, _I still got it_, he thought with a grin on his face. His jubilation was short-lived however, as the four remaining mechs quickly rained down on him with machine pistol fire. They were slowly making their way closer to his position, the constant flurry of fire giving Shepard little opportunity to return fire and slow their progress. His own physical handicaps were making the task at hand even more difficult--his exhaustion and fuzzy vision making headshots a practical impossibility.

As the third mech dropped from a barrage of shots to the chest plate Shepard could feel his confidence continue to grow. His only choice at this point was to mentally override his bodily reactions, to compartmentalize his physical pain so he could ignore it. Regardless of his unsteady hands, Shepard had to know he could do this. It had always been the key to his success--his optimism; his ability to know he could and would succeed. Taking a deep cleansing breath he jumped from cover and aimed directly for the nearest mech's head. He exhaled and squeezed the trigger, feeling a rush of relief flood his being as its body fell limply and harmlessly to the ground. He quickly turned to face the last mech. Without thinking--acting purely on instinct--he hurled himself towards it unloading the last three shots into the mech's body before it could react, dropping it to the ground.

He took several deep gasps of air as he stood over the last mech's body, trying to regain his bearings. His forehead was covered in sweat and he could feel his entire body shivering from the effort he had exerted. As he made his way to the stairs that led out of the room he suddenly grabbed for the railing, a massive wave of nausea slamming his mind and stomach. The blood drained from his face while his stomach was did somersaults, and he quickly hunched over and vomited pure stomach bile onto the floor. His throat burned and his mouth held a vile taste as he gasped for breath, trying once again to gain control of his body.

Shepard wasn't sure if it was the physical stress of having died and not used any of his muscles in forever, or something deeper on an emotional level that was making his body respond like this. He couldn't believe he was alive and was a mental and emotional wreck, but that wouldn't hinder his physical abilities to this degree, he had survived Akuze, how could this be worse? _It can't, I'm stronger than that._ He determined. Once again forcing himself to move forward.

"Hey are you still there, Miss…uh, well I don't even know your name." He stammered at the ceiling, "Where do I go from here?" Shepard waited for another annoyed reply from his as yet-to-be-named accomplice--he got nothing. "Do you copy?" he said more forcefully this time, and again he received no answer. _Have communications been severed? Is she dead?_ He wondered as he continued down the dimly lit hallway before him.

_I guess it's just me now_, he mused. That suited him just fine.

* * *

**Oh yeah, I'm a bastard for ending it there, I know. But it's not like you don't know what's going to happen! You just don't know my interpretation of it is all, and what if I change something?! Well then you're just going to have to wait and find out. Plus I wanted to get something out to you guys so you'd know I was still alive and well and hadn't abandoned you.  
**

**On a more serious note, I wondered what would it really be like to wake up from the dead. I figured that even if I was brought back to life in perfect physical condition and just as I was before, it's still two years later--I would probably be way out of it. That kind of bugged me about the intro to ME2, Shepard gets up and is ready to go, no problems. I want him to have problems though, otherwise it's boring. So yeah expect some sickness and sluggishness from Shepard for the first several chapters as his body gets used to being alive again. Also, plan on him cursing like a soldier from time-to-time. He's an Earthborn gang member from back in the day, he swears. Also, Die Hard reference anyone?  
**

**More to come soon, hopefully by the weekend. No promises.  
**


	4. Chapter 3: Betrayal

**Hey all! I told you I'd be back with an update this weekend, and low and behold I made it just in the nick of time with 2 hours to spare! This chapter was kind of a bitch to write, but it's necessary to lay some of the ground work for the rest of the story. The problem is that the Lazarus Station section doesn't offer much room for reinterpretation, so I kind of just have to slog through it. It's not much fun. Luckily we are off to Freedom's Progress next, which personally is one of my favorite parts of the game, and I have some fun ideas in store for it. So hang on kids this is going to get fun, I promise!**

**Disclaimer: No copyright infringement is intended. The world of Mass Effect and all of its planets, characters, histories, and story lines belong to the awesome folks at Bioware. I own nothing here.**

**

* * *

  
**

**Chapter 3: Betrayal**

Jacob Taylor was pissed off, plain and simple. The station--his station--was in a state of complete and total chaos. It felt like Eden Prime all over again. It had just been two hours ago that he was finally pouring himself into his uncomfortable too-small bed for his sleep cycle.

That's when the alarm had sounded; Code Red--enemy infiltration. He had leapt from his bed and made a mad sprint for the armory, finding that most of his security force was already there waiting for him, ready to fight off whatever foe was threatening the project they had spent the last two years of their lives keeping secret from the outside world.

He shuttered as he recalled how the expressions on his squad mates' faces had shifted from that of determination to shock and horror as they had turned a corner just in time to witness the station's security mechs gun down half a dozen scientists--faces frozen in fear as their lifeless bodies collapsed to the ground. The last scientist's body hadn't even hit the ground before the mechs had turned their weapons on Jacob's security detail. He had lost half of his group in the confusion and mayhem brought about the mechs' initial attack, the rest had been picked off gradually as the mech force had slowly begun to overwhelm them.

Just like Eden Prime.

He was pinned down now. The breeze-way he was in offered little in the way of cover, he was stuck behind a clear Plexiglas panel currently, giving the four mechs firing upon him a perfect view of any movements he made. The door to the shuttle bay was right behind him, but with so little in the way of cover around him there was no way he could make it there without taking multiple shots. He couldn't wait out the mechs, and he was low on thermal clips, and what happened when more mec--

Jacob's train of thought was abruptly interrupted as two of the mechs suddenly exploded in a flurry of fire and sparks. He quickly snapped his head to the left, just in time to watch as the figure slowly approaching him launched another grenade at the two remaining mechs on the opposite side the breeze-way. Jacob recognized him instantly; surprise carved into his every feature. He knew what they were doing at this base, knew that somewhere aboard this station laid the body of the most famous and important human in the galaxy. He knew they were bringing Shepard back from the dead, rebuilding him. But that didn't lessen the shock he felt as the dead man sluggishly plopped himself down on the bench behind Jacob, breathing harshly.

"I take it you're surprised to see me?" Shepard asked with a slight smile on his face. He had been awake--alive--for all of an hour and he was already dripping with sweat and past the point of exhaustion--he had vomited twice. _I can't wait for this damn day to be over with_, he thought as he waited for the officer before him to shake the bewildered look off his face and final say something. "You know, I think I'm the one that should be in a complete state of shock right now, not you." Shepard said, hoping that this would jar the man from his daze.

Jacob shook his head trying to clear it, realizing that he probably looked like a complete fool. "Sorry Commander, it's just…shit must be really bad if Miranda's got you running around." He frowned, "As far as I knew you were still a few weeks away from, uh, completion."

Shepard grimaced at the man's choice of words. He made it sound like Shepard was a science experiment instead of a person. "I just woke up, who are you and where in the Hell am I?" Shepard asked, frustration seeping into his voice as he finished.

"Right, sorry. This has whole day has been a fucking nightmare, and I'm sure you're confused as Hell right now." Jacob started, noting that Commander looked like he had already been through a meat grinder. "My name is Jacob Taylor; I'm head of security for this station, and while I'm sure you have a ton of questions for me, chances are that a lot of them are above my pay grade." He looked at Shepard unsure of how to continue. "We should keep going and try to make it to the shuttle bay. Pretty much all of my security detail is dead and the whole station is overrun with mechs." He concluded in a rush, hoping to get moving as soon as possible. Not only to ensure they survived, but also to try and dissuade Shepard from asking him too many questions.

He wanted to tell Shepard more, Jacob wasn't much for lying, and this was Jack Shepard, the Goddamn hero of Eden Prime and first human Spectre. But Jacob also knew that Miranda and even The Illusive Man would have his ass if he told Shepard too much too soon. So he waited for Shepard to acknowledge the need to get to the shuttle bay, and hoped the Commander wouldn't push too hard for answers now--putting their survival above the need for answers.

"Well Taylor, it's nice to meet you," Shepard said casually as he shakily stood up from the bench he was seated on and held his hand out to Jacob. As Jacob shook his hand Shepard asked, "I'm guessing Miranda is the angry woman who's been yelling at me to get moving up until recently?"

Jacob nodded, "Glad to hear she's still alive, although I'm not really surprised. She's in charge of this whole operation, are you still in contact with her?"

"I lost contact with her about fifteen, maybe twenty minutes ago." Shepard said with a huff.

"Miranda can take care of herself, and we don't have the firepower to go find her right now. If she's anywhere, she is heading for the shuttle bay, as we should be." Jacob said hoping to goad Shepard into not asking anymore questions.

"Alright, alright Jacob, I get it, I'll save my questions for latter. Let me just ask one and then we can get the hell out of here." Shepard said with some annoyance.

Shepard steeled himself for the answer as he asked the question that was burning hottest in his mind. "How long have I…" he trailed off before he could finish, "How long have I been dead exactly?"

Jacob was surprised. This was not the question he had been expecting at all. He was expecting more along the lines of 'who do you work for?'. But as Jacob gazed at the panting man in front of him, face etched with pain and grief--as if waiting for the worst news imaginable--he realized that he wasn't talking to a galactic super hero. He was talking to a man whose entire world had been flipped on its head, Shepard was a man lost.

"It's been approximately two years since the Normandy was destroyed, sir." Jacob stated, as if he were telling a soldier's wife that her husband had died in battle. Concerned, yet detached.

Shepard was silent. But he felt like he had just taken a punch in the gut from a krogan. His face contorted further in pain, his eyes squeezed tightly shut, a single tear falling from one of them. It made Jacob want to turn away; it felt like too private a moment for him to observe this man's pain at this revelation.

"How many survivors?" Shepard asked, his voice laced with emotion.

"Most of the crew survived, only twenty causalities, not including you. All non-Alliance crew members made it off as well. The krogan, turian, asari, and quarian all made it off. Most of the causalities were from the lower decks. Engineering was hit hardest." Jacob stated bluntly. He had read over the Normandy Report several times after it was first released, and then again after Shepard's remains were brought to the station.

Shepard stood there for a long moment. He was almost shocked that there were so few casualties, he had been certain there would have been more. But that wasn't what was most painful to hear. He was a military man, he could handle casualty reports, could compartmentalize the sadness that went along with the loss of crew members. It was part of a soldier's life, people die, and you respect them by moving forward with the mission. But two years? He had been dead for two years? What did that mean for him, and more importantly what did it mean for his crew? Where were they all now? Had they all moved with their lives? And what about him? What would he do? Where would he go? His primary question had been answered, but now a million more replaced it.

He glanced at Jacob who was looking at him expectantly, hoping to get moving no doubt. "Thank you, Jacob." He said, nodding absently, "We should get moving I suppose."

"Right!" Jacob exclaimed, he was ready to get moving and was glad that Shepard hadn't pressed him for more answers. "The shuttle bay is this way," he said pointing to the door behind them, "I'm not sure how many mechs will be in our way, but it's our only option."

"It's your station Jacob, I'll follow you." Shepard replied as Jacob smiled and began to head for the door. "Oh and just so you know, I can barely walk, my aim is complete shit, and I feel like I could fall over and die again at any moment…so please keep the pace manageable." He muttered with a slight grin pulling at the side of his mouth.

"Understood, sir. The last thing I want is to be responsible for you dying now." Jacob said, as he turned to look back at him, "That would pretty much mean I'm dead meat too."

As the two soldiers began to make their way through the door a new voice came over their comms.

"Hello? Is anyone still alive? Is there anyone on this frequency? Please, is anyone there?" The voice continued to ask, sounding more and more desperate.

"Shit Wilson, is that you?" Jacob called into his comm. link, "This is Jacob, and I'm here with Commander Shepard in D-wing. Where the Hell are you, are you alright?" Jacob asked.

Shepard noted that Jacob was using the same detached concern with this Wilson as he had used with him earlier. _Definitely Alliance at some point_, Shepard thought as he watched Jacob continue to talk over the comm.

"Shepard's alive, and with you? How in the Hell…never mind you both need to get out of there, and head for the central control room." Wilson yelled into the comm. his voice full of...agitation?

"Copy that, Wilson. Stay on this frequency." Jacob finished, turning to face Shepard again. "It looks like we're taking the long way to the shuttle, Commander."

"Like I said Jacob, I'll follow your lead." Shepard stated with a hint of amusement as they finally began to move forward again.

"Hopefully we don't run into too many mechs on the way, but luckily I'm a biotic so if push comes to shove I can always hit 'em with the good stuff." Jacob said triumphantly, his fist glowing blue to illustrate his point further.

"Good to know." Shepard muttered as they made their way towards Wilson and central control.

* * *

They only ran into a few mechs on their way to Wilson and the central control room, but for Shepard even fighting one was like fighting a war all by himself. Most of his shots missed their targets completely, and with every shot he lined up he could see and feel his arm and hand twitching and shaking. Each shot took longer than it should have. His breathing had grown even more labored as he and Jacob continued through the corridors of the station. Jacob's pace wasn't very fast, in fact, it was rather slow for a normal individual. However, for Shepard in his current state, they might as well have been running a sprint. Each step made his legs burn more, and caused his body to scream louder in protest of his movements. Shepard found himself constantly wiping the sweat from his brow as they traversed the halls. It all made him feel inadequate and useless. _They'll be so glad they brought me back after they see how I can barely stand up after fighting two fucking mechs,_ he thought sourly. _Whoever 'they' even are_, he added, as he was still trying to place the damn symbol he saw everywhere around him. He knew what it was, but the name, why couldn't he remember the damn name?

When Shepard and Jacob entered the next room, they found a bald and scrawny man lying on the floor behind several supply crates wincing in pain. Wilson.

"Jacob! Shepard! Thank God!" Wilson yelled as they entered the room.

"Wilson! What happened, are you alright?" Jacob asked as he slid down next to Wilson on the floor and began to examine him for injuries.

"Do I fucking look alright?! Bastards shot me in the leg…damnit!" Wilson yelled as Jacob found the bloody hole in his right leg.

Shepard noticed a medi-gel terminal on the wall and hobbled over to it, hoping to find enough medi-gel in it to patch up Wilson's injuries.

"Good thinking Shepard." Jacob called over to him as he came back with all the medi-gel he could find. "That should be enough to get this leg patched up, and Wilson walking again." Jacob nodded, as he spread the gel over Wilson's battered leg.

"Thanks, Shepard. Never thought you'd save my life. Guess we're even now, huh?" Wilson muttered.

"I guess so."

"Although from the looks of it, you weren't quite ready to be woken up yet, that's too bad. Three more weeks and we would have had you at one hundred percent." Wilson chuckled ironically.

"Honestly, I don't think three weeks would have made a difference." Shepard shook his head, "I don't think anything would have made coming back from the dead any easier or more pleasant." He ended, rolling his eyes.

Wilson clenched his fists tightly at his sides and turned his attention to Jacob. "I thought maybe I could shut down the security mechs. But whoever did this fried the system. Completely irreversible."

"Nobody asked what you were doing, Wilson. How do you even have security clearance? You were in the bio-wing." Jacob crossed his arms and his eyes narrowed as he spoke, his suspicion rising slightly.

Shepard's own suspicion was peeked again as well, as he was yet again reminded of the fact that he still had no idea who these people worked for or what their agenda was.

"Hey, I came here to fix this! Weren't you listening? And besides, I was shot! How do you explain that?" Wilson yelled back at Jacob, his voice cracking near the end.

_Oh, I can think of a few ways as to how you got shot_, Shepard thought to himself, possible scenarios running through his head as Jacob and Wilson both eyed each other.

"I don't trust any of you. You're all strangers to me." He said trying to defuse the tension between the two of them. "Let's get the Hell out of here before we try sort out whose fault it is, okay?"

Jacob nodded, "Right, we should try and find Miranda as well. We can't just leave her behind."

Wilson shook his head vehemently and his foot tapped the floor anxiously. "Forget her! Miranda was in D-Wing. It was hit the hardest, there is no way she's still alive…" Wilson trailed off, and the ghost of a smile came across his lips. "Unless she's the traitor."

Jacob was quick to defend Miranda, "No fucking way, this project was Miranda's baby, why would she try and destroy it?" he protested, "and besides, there is no way a couple of mechs could take her out so easily."

Shepard's anger was rising as Jacob and Wilson continued to bicker back-and-forth about Miranda and what to do about her. _We're wasting time, this is pointless_, he thought as he watched to two men stare each other down. A large part of Shepard agreed with Jacob, Miranda had apparently been the one who woke him up so he could escape. Hell, she was the one that had spearheaded this whole project to bring him back from the dead. He owed her his life. Shepard was an optimist, some would say to a fault, and he could see that same optimism in Jacob and his pleas to go find his boss. However, Shepard knew deep down that they would never be able to find her in this station. Wilson was no soldier, and there was little doubt in Shepard's mind that if they went looking for Miranda, Wilson would be of little use to them. He'd already taken a nasty shot to the leg, and most likely would end up getting killed, or abandoning the team in fear if they ran into a group of mechs.

Then there was Shepard himself. Jacob and Wilson had acknowledged it, but neither really knew how much pain he was in. Even now, with no enemies present, Shepard's right hand was shaking. It was only slight, but even as he concentrated on trying to make it stop twitching, it persisted. He finally grabbed it with his left hand in order to try and make it stop, and looked up at his two companions, an authoritative tone in his voice, "Look Jacob, I understand where you're coming from, Miranda saved my life, she woke me up so I could try and escape, but we're in no shape to try and go back for her. I can barely stand and Wilson has already been shot." Shepard continued with a nod in Wilson's direction, "We're low on clips, and there's no way all of us would make it back to the shuttle, even if we did find Miranda."

Jacob didn't like it. It felt like a betrayal, but even more, he didn't trust Wilson. Wilson had been all too eager to place any and all blame for the incident on Miranda and his excuse for being in central control didn't make any sense. He gave Shepard a knowing look and quickly glanced at Wilson to which Shepard slowly nodded his head. Shepard didn't trust Wilson either.

_Screw this, he needs to know_, Jacob thought, determined to tell Shepard the truth in hopes that it would persuade the Commander to trust him, and get him to help search for Miranda. With new found determination Jacob addressed Shepard, "Commander there's one more thing I thi…"

Jacob didn't get the chance to finish as yet another group of mechs entered through the door on the opposite side of the room. Wilson yelled something at Shepard before activating his omni-tool and overloading a group of explosive canisters, eliminating the mechs before them.

"We don't have time for this! We have to leave now!" Wilson spat at them, anger and fear burning in his eyes as he began to make his way for the door.

"Hold up Wilson, this is getting way too tense. We won't last to the shuttle if Shepard thinks we might put a bullet in the back of his skull. We need him too trust us…I need him to trust us." Jacob stated with purpose.

Shepard quirked his eyebrows at Jacob's odd admission, surprised that the man desired Shepard to trust him so much, but also hopeful that more of the millions of questions constantly bubbling in his over-tired mind would be answered.

"I'm surprised you didn't pick up on this sooner, what with your history and the symbol being posted on every wall in this station. But the Lazarus Project, the program that rebuilt you…it's funded and controlled by Cerberus." Jacob said, as anxiety seeped into his voice at the end.

Shepard's pistol was drawn faster than he could realize--pure instinct. His eyes widened as this critical information was revealed to him. Cerberus! The rogue para-military organization, determined to secure human dominance in the galaxy, through any means necessary, had brought him back from the dead? He had destroyed countless Cerberus installations during his time as both a member of the Alliance and as a Spectre. Why would they bring him back? They were terrorists, racists, and manipulators. This whole situation was fucked.

"I appreciate your honesty Jacob, but I think I'm going to have to tell you and Wilson to go fuck yourselves right now." He shouted with vitriolic hatred in his voice. "Cerberus stands for everything I'm not! Not to mention what you bastards did to my squad on Akuze! Throwing a squad of marines to thresher maws in the name of scientific research? Husks, Rachni, Thorian creepers! Why would Cerberus bring me back? Get the fuck away from me!" Shepard yelled as he slowly back away. As he felt his anger rising, Shepard tried to regain control of his emotions. Yet he could not get the chaos of Akuze out of his mind. The screams and blood of his friends flashed in front of his eyes every time he closed them. The unwanted emotions would only serve to make him sloppy in this, and his physical condition already had him at less than one hundred percent. His vision was beginning to blur again, the edges of the images before him smearing together. And his right hand continued to shake unsteadily as he tried to keep his aim trained on Jacob's face.

Shepard continued to point his pistol shakily at Jacob, who stood stock still, his eyes wide. This was what he was afraid of, what he had hoped to avoid by being forward with Shepard. Shepard had slowly backed out of the room towards the shuttle bay, his pistol still shaking in his hand. Jacob knew it wasn't fear or adrenaline that caused the Commander's weapon to shake; he could see the anger and determination in Shepard's eyes…not fear.

_The man can't do this alone, even if doesn't want my help, he's getting it._ Jacob decided, as he took a step towards Shepard, his hands raised. "Things change Shepard. The Alliance declared you dead and gave up on you. Cerberus spent a fortune bringing you back."

Aside from the constant shake of his pistol, Shepard did not move, his expression unchanged. Jacob's words had no effect on the Commander's opinion.

Jacob took a deep breath his eyes not leaving Shepard's as he spoke, "Look, I'd be suspicious if I were you too. You and Cerberus have a bad history, but right now we need to work together if we're going to survive." Jacob noted that Shepard slightly lowered his weapon as Jacob's appeal to the Commander's survival instinct began to sink in. They both knew Shepard couldn't make it to the shuttle alone--not in his condition. "I thought you deserved to know what's what." Jacob practically whispered as Shepard finally lowered his weapon, causing Jacob to let out a small sigh.

"Once we get out of here I'll take you to the Illusive Man, he can explain everything." Jacob said with relief as he closed the distance between Shepard and himself, placing a hand on Shepard's shoulder to try and reassure him.

"Illusive Man?" Shepard asked, unable to keep the uncertainty and confusion out of his voice.

"It's not his real name, no one knows what it really is" Wilson added with a laugh, "But he's the man in charge of Cerberus. And he's not going to happy to hear you've spilled all this info Jacob."

"Whatever, let's just get the fuck out of here." Shepard gave up.

"Good, the shuttle bay isn't that far away now." Wilson said with relief as they finally made their way through the door to the shuttle.

* * *

As they traveled the corridors of the station Shepard's thoughts were a complete jumble. He had been dead for two years, the Alliance and Council apparently had given up on the search for his body, not that he blamed them. Most spaced bodies were never recovered. But how had Cerberus found him when the Alliance and Council had not? Did his allies truly give up that easily? Had Cerberus planned the attack in a hope to gain his loyalty? No, that wouldn't make sense, if he was to believe that they had spent ridiculous amounts of credits to bring him back. What did Cerberus want with him? He knew he could never work for them, especially not after he found out that they were behind Akuze. How could they honestly expect him to cooperate with them? _I won't_, he thought angrily. There was no way he would work for Cerberus; he wouldn't compromise himself just because they gave him life again.

His thoughts drifted to his squad and crew from the Normandy. He felt relief wash over him at the knowledge that most of them had survived the attack. He desperately hoped that he would be able to find them--all of them--and let them know he was alive, Garrus, Wrex, Liara, Joker, Chakwas, Tali, and Ashley. He hoped to find Anderson; he hoped to get his life back on track. He wanted to pick things up where he left of, the Reapers were still coming, and he wanted the people he cared for and trusted by his side to fight the threat.

But as they fought their way through the hanger to the shuttle doors, Shepard was again reminded of his weakened physical state and how no matter how much he wished for it, things were forever different for him now. The knowledge that he had died, and that his crew had most likely all moved on by now weighed heavily on his battered mind.

He tried to focus himself on the mechs in front of him, but it only caused him more frustration. His had been semi-successful in compartmentalizing the constant burning pain that shot throughout his body, but his limbs still constantly burned as he crouched behind a storage crate, and he hadn't stopped panting since he woke up. His lungs seemingly incapable of providing his body with the oxygen it desperately needed, even when he was at rest. His aim had improved, but only slightly, and that was because he had made a mental adjustment to compensate for his arms near constant shaking. He hoped that it would change sooner rather than later, that his body would return to its normal self, and that he could get beyond this feeling of helplessness, so he could feel like Jack Shepard and not a walking corpse.

* * *

As the trio dropped the last of the mechs in the hanger Wilson ran ahead of them to being to open the shuttle door--Shepard needed to use the guardrail to help steady himself before he began the climb to the top of the platform.

"You okay, Commander?" Jacob asked as he watched Shepard gasp for breath and pull himself along the railing to the top of the platform.

"I'm fine." Was the curt response Jacob received from the proud Spectre.

The two soldiers reached the shuttle door to find Wilson typing frantically into the console, cursing to himself. "Come on, damnit…got it!" Wilson shouted as the security door finally opened with a whoosh before them; a full-toothed grin spread itself across Wilson's face.

The grin vanished as quickly as it came however, as Wilson saw the last person he ever wanted to see staring at him, her eyes full of hate.

Wilson's expression was one of pure terror as he gawked at Miranda Lawson. "Miranda! You're…" he stuttered as Miranda raised her Carnifex Hand Cannon to his head and squeezed the trigger.

Shepard felt the warm spray of Wilson's blood splash against his face as he watched the man's now limp body fall to the ground, a gaping hole in the middle of his head.

"Dead?" Miranda responded to the dead man's last words coldly, a disgusted grimace on her face.

Shepard's weapon was immediately drawn, shaking in his hand, just as it had been since the moment he had awoken.

* * *

**Just so you know this was the longest chapter yet by far, 1000 words to be exact. Hope you all enjoyed it. Not too much to say, I'm just glad I pumped this thing out in such a short amount of time. Hope for an update within the week sometime. No promises as always. **

**Also if you're looking for an excellent Shepard/Tali FanFic you have to read Dark Rendition by Mothbanquet. Seriously the guy's story is awe-inspiring.**

**Til next time folks. **


	5. Chapter 4: Unexpected

**Hey there strangers! It's been awhile I know but I've been dealing with some writer's block when it comes to this story. I finally pushed through it and I'm happy to say that I should have two chapters to post this weekend! Isn't that great!?!? I'm sorry for not updating more frequently, I'll try to get better at it, I feel terrible when I don't post as frequently as some of the other people on the site. **

**This is the first of the two chapters for the weekend and it deals more with Tali's arrival on Freedom's Progress and her feelings and doubts about her position as the head of the squad. A little build-up until we get to the first meeting. I hate too long chapters, makes me feel like I'm rushing, which I think was a problem with the last chapter.**

**Disclaimer: All characters, story lines, histories, and planets are the property of BioWare and the developers and writers there. I claim no ownership of anything.**

**

* * *

  
**

**Chapter 4: Unexpected**

Tali'Zorah vas Neema sighed heavily as she watched the sun slowly set over Freedom's Progress. It would have been a beautiful sight had it not been for the eerie quiet that hung heavy in the ghost town; and if she hadn't been so frustrated. Her team had been on world for a little over two hours now, and they were no closer to finding Veetor than they had been when they first landed. She shook her head and let out an audible groan as she walked back towards the prefab unit that her squad was currently using as their base-of-operations in their search. As she walked, she recalled the events that had led her and her team to this point.

* * *

Tali _had_ ordered Prazza to bring their shuttle down on the landing pad located on the outskirts of the main colony complex, hoping to avoid attracting any sort of unwanted attention. This strategy meant more time spent tracking Veetor on foot, but to her it was worth trying to keep a low profile. If there were any humans left on the colony, chances were good that they wouldn't take too kindly to a cadre of heavily armed quarian marines marching through the place; and Keelah only knew what else could be lurking inside the apparent ghost colony.

Their ship's scanners had detected Veetor's enviro-suit signature and nothing else. No humans, no other life signs, mass effect fields, or energy signatures; it sent a chill down her spine thinking about it, how could a whole colony disappear like that, and why wasn't the Alliance doing more to protect the colonists? Now that she was actually here, she couldn't believe that pirates or slavers were responsible for the disappearances.

According to their scans Veetor was somewhere inside the colony's main industrial complex, near the primary docking bay. It didn't change her mind. She ordered Prazza to continue to land on the far side of the complex as planned.

_No chances. _

They may be alone, but there was no telling what kind of shape Veetor would be in, there was no need to risk putting either him or them at great risk by swooping in with a quick and dirty pick up.

She wasn't surprised that Prazza hadn't listened to her, he had been complaining about their "pit-stop" and the fact that she was in charge since the moment they had plotted a course for Freedom's Progress. What had surprised her though, was the sloppiness of his actions and general disregard for protocol; he was completely blinded by his pride and dislike of her.

Instead of bringing the shuttle down right outside of the main complex, Prazza had brought the shuttle down right in the middle of the colony, as close as they could possibly land to the signal emanating from Veetor's suit. He treated the landing more like a military hot-zone extraction rather than a civilian pick-up and rescue.

The only good thing to come out of Prazza's brashness was that they got a visual on Veetor, or at least the back of him, as they watched him panic and run away from their shuttle. He was heading for main loading bay, so at least they knew where to go to find him.

"You see Tali'Zorah that is how you handle these types of operations. I just saved us Keelah knows how much time searching for that moron!" Prazza had boasted as the team exited the shuttle.

"We still have to find him, idiot, and he is probably going to be even more unstable and delirious than he already was before we got here." Tali sighed shaking her head, she could feel her anger rising.

"Did you not see him run away from us? He's unstable! Damnit Prazza why can't you just follow my orders? I'm your commanding officer, deal with it! Just because you're a marine and I'm an engineer does not give you the right to be an ass and disobey orders!" she waved her hands in front of her in frustration. "This is my mission; I'm in charge, understood?"

Prazza shot daggers at her in response to her outburst before turning to glare at several of his marines, who had started to snicker at the exchange. "Understood…let's do this thing and go." He mumbled as Tali ordered the squad to fall in behind her as they headed in the direction Veetor had fled.

* * *

They had only gone about half a click before coming under fire from a small group of LOKI and FENRIS mechs. Tali's squad didn't take any losses, but the realization that Veetor had reprogrammed the colony's mech defenses to target them as enemies only fueled Tali's frustration with Prazza even more.

_All of this could have been avoided._

As she entered their makeshift base-of-operations, Tali wished she had taken Kal'Reegar up on his offer to join him on his shuttle. Even though Kal's advances were sometimes awkward and less than ideal, she would have happily endured them if it meant not having to deal with Prazza and his inferiority complex. At least Kal respected her.

As much as others wished it to be true, Tail knew deep down that she was no leader. She was far too quiet and reserved--almost aloof at times--for it. She worried too much about her squad's safety, and putting them in harm's way to make the tough decisions.

_I'm no Shepard. Hell, why am I even making the comparison?_

She didn't exude the proper determination and attitude to implicitly gain the respect of her troops. She was a thinker, methodical in her actions; not a leader. She would never say no to taking the lead, she was willing to do anything to help the mission and her people, but she knew herself. She knew where she was most comfortable and most successful. And leading a squad of hot-headed marines was definitely pushing the limits of her already limited leadership ability.

"Tali, you need to take a look at this!" One of the marines across the room yelled, snapping her from her reverie.

"What is it, Jaroh?" She questioned as she approached him. He was standing at a portable data terminal typing frantically.

"The colony scanners are picking up a shuttle rapidly approaching the colony outskirts. It's of human design."

"So what's the problem? We could use the help." She shrugged.

"That's not all." Jaroh hissed as he brought up a visual of the shuttle on the display. "See the markings on the shuttle?" He pointed to the screen. "They are consistent with markings found on Cerberus vessels."

Tali's breath hitched in her throat. _Cerberus!_ "How many on board, are the scanners even strong enough to tell?"

"No, they aren't designed for that, but given the size of the shuttle there could be anywhere from two to a dozen Cerberus operatives on board." Jaroh stated. Concern had seeped into his voice.

"We have to hope that the mechs will slow them enough for us to get Veetor and go." Tali said to Jaroh before bringing Prazza up on her comm.

"Prazza get the squad ready to move, plans have changed and we need to get Veetor now!" She commanded.

"We will be ready to move in thirty minutes." He said, all business, she was glad for that.

"I need you to be faster than that."

"What? Why? We have to clear all these data terminals! I have people on patrol that are going to take at least twenty minutes to get back here!" Prazza yelled at her over the comm. just as the door opened and he entered the room, his arms flailing in anger.

"We have company." Tali said bluntly and pointed at the screen behind her as Prazza seethed next to her. His body language suddenly changed as he registered the shuttle that was now landing on the screen.

"Shit."

* * *

"We're not alone here." Miranda said coldly as they stepped over the remains of the mechs the three of them had just destroyed.

"We better hurry then. The sooner we find out what happened here the sooner we can leave." Shepard muttered before adding internally: _And the sooner I can get as far away from you Cerberus bastards as possible._

Shepard's "meeting" with the Illusive Man hadn't convinced him of anything. The whole thing had been little more than a ploy to send Shepard to investigate Freedom's Progress. Shepard didn't like being volunteered for things, especially by people he didn't trust, and he was certain that the Illusive Man would never fall into his 'trusted friends' category.

The Illusive Man was smug and slimy, an ends justify the means type, a used ship salesman if Shepard had ever seen one. _And yet here I am doing his dirty work for him._ He thought with a bitter laugh.

They were making their way through a grouping of several housing units, getting closer to the industrial complex at the heart of the colony. Shepard was feeling better physically now than he had on the space station, but he was still shaky. Miranda had jacked him up on several stimulants to help strengthen his weakened muscles; he was on an adrenaline and caffeine high, making him almost numb. The stims were masking the pain and exhaustion, but he still didn't feel right. It was more of a comfort than a performance thing. He was nauseous and light-headed, and despite all the stimulants, his hand still shook when he aimed, it was slight but after years of never having his hand shake when it held a gun, even the slightest twitch was noticeable. It was as if his body was rejecting the idea of being alive, perhaps because he still hadn't really accepted the fact himself.

As they approached the next door they noticed that it had apparently been sealed shut. Someone or something had changed the access codes; they would have to bypass it.

"Jacob, can you bypass the door?" Shepard asked. Jacob gave one nod as he ran up to the door.

"I'll do it; I'm more efficient than Jacob is." Miranda stated matter-of-factly as she stepped in front of the solider and began to hack the door. Jacob just looked at Shepard and shrugged, not surprised at all by Miranda's need to take control away from him, and took up the position opposite Shepard against the side of the door.

Shepard rolled his eyes as he watched Miranda work. _I really can't wait to get away from these people_. Miranda was aggressive and efficient for sure, but she was also a control-freak and a little bit of an attention whore. She was cold and calculating, and operated with a chip on her shoulder for some reason. Shepard recalled her comments after his meeting with the Illusive Man of wanting to outfit him with a control-chip. He could sometimes feel the jealousy and resentment she felt for him come off her in palpable waves. It pissed him off.

Shepard drew his pistol and motioned for them to move into the unit when the door popped open as Miranda finished her bypass. The first half of the room they entered was dark, with only a faint orange glow from around the corner providing light. They slowly rounded the corner only to encounter a bizarre sight.

Shepard quirked an eyebrow, his pistol unwavering aside from the irritatingly persistent shake of his hand, puzzled by what he saw before him.

"Quarians?"

* * *

**The last chapter didn't get as many review or hits as the previous ones. While I don't want to worry I can't help myself. So please give me feed back! My priority is for you all to enjoy reading this story, and if you're not enjoying it let me know! I'm open to all suggestions. I don't want to beg for reviews, but if you especially hated something or especially loved it I want to know.**

**Like I said, I like shorter chapters. No rushing feeling that way. Next chapter will be up as soon as I proof it and feel happy with it, so expect it by Sunday at the latest. Lots of dialogue and fun bits in the next chapter. **

**I felt like with every character it is hinted at as you met them as to what they will be good at when they join your squad. Freedom's Progress, to me, hinted that Tali is not a leader. She is a loyal and trustworthy solider, and is a genuinely good person but she's no leader. I wanted to explore that a little bit, and as we get farther into the story look at her in terms of her slight 'aloofness' and whatnot.**

**Also if you're in the mood for a silly but sweet and slightly lemony one-shot, click over to my profile and read my story _What is it About Elevators?_ It's only a one-shot but I've been loving the response it's gotten and it really helped me work through some of my writer's block. So please take a look.**

**Thanks for reading.  
**


	6. Chapter 5: First Meeting

**I told you I would have 2 chapters this weekend, so here is part 2 of what has become a 3-part saga here on Freedom's Progress. As I was proofing this chapter to post it, I just got the urge to add to it and before I knew it, it was huge. So now the 3rd part of the chapter will be posted by tomorrow. There is just too much stuff happening in these chapters for me to keep them together, I tend to get long winded and so I'd rather break them up so they flow more naturally rather than cut stuff out of it when I don't feel like I should.**

**The YMIR mech battle really took over this chapter for me. I usually don't care much for writing action, I prefer dialogue, relationships, and internal reflection but for some reason I just really into the battle scene. I'd love feed back of what you think of it.**

**Disclaimer: No copyright infringement is intended. All characters, story lines, histories, and planets are property of the developers and writers at BioWare. I just like to do shit with them.**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 5: First Meeting  
**

"Stop right there!" The nearest quarian yelled at them, his Avenger at the ready. The group of quarians before them--which had been huddled around a data terminal only moments ago--now had their weapons drawn and trained on Shepard and his team.

"You're in no position to tell us what to do; you're aliens on a human colony that has just vanished. For all we know you're responsible." Miranda stated coldly. Her authoritative tone and accusations seemed to startle the quarians, but only for a moment.

Shepard resisted the urge to once again roll his eyes at Miranda, anything with half a brain would know that the quarians had nothing to do with the colonists' disappearance. She was just being an asshole for the sake of it; she was so much more trouble than she was worth.

"Prazza! You said you'd let me handle this!" A feminine voice yelled with authority, as the quarian it belonged to stepped in between the two parties in an attempt to ease the tension. _That's awfully brave of her…and kinda stupid._ Shepard thought as the woman put her hand on the muzzle of the other quarian's rifle, lowering it. As Shepard watched her, he got the feeling that there was something familiar about her--her voice, the way she carried herself. _No, the galaxy isn't that small…_

Tali turned her head to regard the Cerberus operatives that had just entered the room, glad that there were only three of them--perhaps their encounter would not have to be violent after all. A beautiful dark-haired woman whose outfit left very little to the imagination and a younger looking dark-skinned man flanked the leader of the group.

_No…_Tali squeezed her eyes shut tightly as they met the face of Cerberus team leader. She was dreaming she had to be.

"Sh…Shepard? No." She gasped, completely at a loss for words. She watched as recognition flooded the face of the ghost before her. It was as if the same realization that she had just experienced was now hitting him as well. Still semi-conscious of the marines under her command, Tali pushed Prazza's weapon down further and raised her hand in front of the rest of her squad. "Wait." She murmured, hoping that for once Prazza would listen to her. "Shepard?" She questioned warily once more, trying to will the ghost in front of her to speak.

Tali watched as the ghost lowered and holstered his pistol, turning to his squad members and ordering them to do the same. The dark-skinned man obliged him instantly; the woman was more stubborn, forcing the ghost to practically holster it for her. Tali couldn't believe it. _It can't be him, I watched him die; I was at his funeral!_

"I'm not taking any chances with Cerberus operatives! Have you completely lost it Tali'Zorah?" She heard Prazza yell defiantly behind her. She snapped her head around quicker than she thought possible; the urge to tackle him and smash his face into the ground struck her.

"Put those weapons down!" Tali yelled, her voice raising several octaves. Prazza literally jumped backwards, as did several other members of her squad, shocked by her outburst.

She turned to look back at the ghost, looking him dead in the eyes, hoping to learn that her mind wasn't betraying her, that he truly was who she wanted him to be. "Shepard? Is that…you're alive?" She trailed off to barely a whisper at the end. There was no way; it was a clone, or just simply exhaustion playing a trick on her.

Shepard closed his eyes, as the faint hint of a smile played at his lips--it was her. "Tali'Zorah nar Rayya." It wasn't a question, but rather a statement of relief. Finally, he had found a familiar face, someone that he knew and trusted; someone from his past.

He opened his eyes again to find that she was still staring at him, her eyes had softened slightly, but she still seemed to be waiting for something. He knew what she needed to hear. "It is me Tali. Remember the geth data I gave you? Did it help you complete your Pilgrimage?"

It was him. _Keelah._ "It really is you." Tali said in awe and disbelief. "And yes it did, my name is Tali'Zorah vas Neema now…thanks to you." She felt herself take half a step towards him as she finished speaking, planning on hugging him, but she stopped herself short. This was not the time or place for that, it was completely inappropriate…

"Don't even fucking think about it!" Shepard bellowed at her as he realized what she was debating in her head, he stepped swiftly forward and embraced her; a smirk on his face. She hugged him back tentatively, surprised by his forwardness, Shepard had always been rather reserved with his emotions.

But despite her initial hesitance, Tali was too happy to oblige him. Shepard was by some miracle alive, her captain, and the man she trusted more than anyone else was back.

"Thank you, God." She heard Shepard murmur as the held each other. She wasn't sure if he was saying it more to himself or to her, or why he would say such a thing to begin with.

She hugged him tightly for too brief a moment before stepping away. The feelings that she had been trying so hard to bury quickly began to rush to the surface. She was thankful for Prazza's interjection, as it helped her focus on other things.

"Why is your old commander working for Cerberus?" Prazza asked, holstering his weapon and crossing his arms across his chest.

"I don't know." Tali stated, her eyes not leaving Shepard's. She waited expectantly for his answer, hoping that implications of the situation weren't true.

Shepard broke eye contact with her and stared at his hands. A pained look crossed his face, and Tali's heart sank, had he really joined Cerberus?

"I…I died Tali." He took a deep breath and when his eyes rose to meet her own once more they looked aged and distant. "Cerberus spent two years rebuilding me, bringing me back to life. They want me to investigate the attacks on human colonies." He looked ashamed as he finished, like it hurt him to say it. Tali felt the urge to comfort him.

"Likely story. No organization would expend so many resources to bring back on soldier." Prazza scoffed.

Tali turned and glared at him, her voice as hard as steel. "You haven't seen Shepard in action, Prazza. Trust me, it was money well spent." She turned to look at Shepard again, eyeing him from head-to-toe. _Money very well spent_. She thought as she looked at him. _Stop it! Don't be ridiculous_. She scolded herself internally.

Shepard smiled at Tali's defense of him. He could see the differences in her that the passage of two years had caused. She seemed more confident in herself and less naïve now, less in awe of the world around her; he was proud of her. She stood tall and authoritatively, more like a soldier now. Her physical appearance had changed as well. He couldn't help but notice her hips. He had always noticed. But her new enviro-suit seemed to accentuate them and all the other curves of her body even more, they seemed fuller and like she had grown into them. The purple and black material of the suit hugged her body tightly, and seemed to be part of a more mature post-Pilgrimage look. He mentally shook himself as he realized that he was ogling her. _Shit man, stay focused._

Tali's words broke him from his studying of her form, for which he was grateful. "Perhaps we could work together. We're here looking for a young quarian named Veetor. He was here on Pilgrimage." Shepard was glad that Tali at least could stay focused. He felt his eyebrow quirk as she mentioned the quarian on Pilgrimage.

"Veetor came here on Pilgrimage? Kind of an odd choice for a quarian isn't it? A backwater human colony?" Shepard inquired. He and Tali had spent hours talking about quarian Pilgrimages. He had gotten the sense that they were much more important that just helping out on a simple mining colony.

"Quarians can go wherever they'd like to on Pilgrimage. Veetor liked the idea of working with a smaller group. He tended to get…nervous around larger crowds." Tali explained. She couldn't help but smile a little. How many times had she and Shepard discussed quarian Pilgrimages on the Normandy? And yet, here he was still interested in knowing more about it, sometimes he was truly bizarre.

"She means that he was an unstable nut-job. Combine that with infection from open-air exposure due to any damage his suit has taken and he is likely delirious." Prazza interrupted, annoyance creeping into his tone. Shepard resisted the urge to roll his eyes. It looked like Tali had a Miranda on her team as well.

"When Veetor saw us landing he ran to the main loading bay on the far side of town. He's the one that most likely reprogrammed the mechs to attack anything that moves." Tali added, her voice taking on a colder tone as she recalled Prazza's arrogance and insubordination.

Shepard nodded as he received this new information. "Veetor is the only one that might know what happened here. We need to talk to him, and you need to take him home. With all the mechs running around here it only makes sense for us to work together to find him." He said in a strategic tone.

Tali could feel the smile spreading across her face as she responded. "Good idea. You'll need two teams to through all the mechs, anyway." This felt just like two years ago. She had almost forgotten how comfortable she felt under Shepard's command. It felt as if a huge burden had been lifted from her shoulders and suddenly she knew things were going to work out.

"Now we're working with Cerberus?" Prazza scoffed.

_Nope, he is definitely worse than Miranda_. Shepard thought with a laugh. At least Miranda had been quiet this whole time.

"No Prazza, you're working for me. If that is too hard for you to do, you can go pout on the ship." Tali snapped at him. She felt a new determination building inside of her as she frowned at Prazza. She didn't want to let Shepard down; she didn't want to disappoint him. She turned back to look at Shepard who had a slight grin on his face. "Your team can head up straight through the colony to the loading bay, while we circle around from the back to draw out as many mechs as possible to our position. That should give you a clear path to find Veetor and shut down all the drones."

"Right, sounds like a plan to me." Shepard remarked as he drew his Avenger and began to head for the door. He glanced back at Tali, "Remember to keep in radio contact, and good luck."

"Good luck, Shepard. It's good to have you back." Tali replied.

Shepard smiled, "Good to be back, Tali. I'll see you shortly." He nodded once and then he was gone.

* * *

"You look like you're feeling better, Commander." Jacob noted as they made their way towards Veetor. Shepard's entire demeanor seemed to have lightened; perhaps after this they could get the quarian that was part of his former team to join them so Shepard wouldn't just cut and run.

"Just glad to see a familiar face, to know that the people I care about are still out there and remember me." Shepard said flatly. He couldn't believe how happy he was to see Tali, hell he'd even hugged her. That was very…not like him. But right now that was irrelevant; the mission was what mattered now. Everything else was secondary to finding Veetor and getting the information he needed.

As Shepard and his team fought their way through several waves of security drones Tali's panicked voice came over his comm. "Shepard, Prazza and the rest of the squad have betrayed me and run on ahead! They are trying to get to Veetor before you and take him away. You have to hurry if you want to catch them!"

"Shit!" He muttered. "Okay, we're moving as fast as we can. What happened, are you alright?"

He heard her sigh before answering. "Yes, I'm fine…thank you. Prazza was never exactly…comfortable under my command. Apparently working with Cerberus was the final straw for him."

"Bloody quarians, I knew we shouldn't have bothered trusting them." Miranda stated the anger in her voice clear.

"Keep your opinions to yourself Lawson, we need to keep moving." Shepard said darkly.

"Understood, Commander."

* * *

_Damnit, damnit, damnit!_ Tali scolded herself internally. How could she have let this happen? How could Prazza be so dense? She ran frantically trying to catch up with Prazza and the rest of the squad.

She didn't like Cerberus. She hated it. Cerberus had attacked the flotilla, her home, she would never trust them. But she trusted Shepard. She knew he would keep his word to her, and that he would do right by her, and so she had agreed to work together. In doing though she had endangered her entire squad, the whole mission could be lost because of this. She should have realized that her trust in Shepard would not have been enough of a reason for the rest of her squad to work with Cerberus; especially Prazza. Like Tali needed to give Prazza any more of a reason at all to supplant her leadership.

The squad was made up mostly of marines that were loyal to Prazza, or at least more inclined to side with him in a fight than an engineer. It hadn't taken much convincing for Prazza to get the troops to side with him against her. According to Prazza Tali was too soft to lead, and that the only 'logical' course of action was to beat the Cerberus team to Veetor's location and escape as soon as possible. Only Jaroh and Tali's assistant had stayed behind with her while the rest of the team ran ahead.

Tali and what was left of her team were able to quickly make up much of the ground Prazza and his group of traitors had put between them thanks to Prazza's team having cleared out most of the drones and mechs.

As Tali's group entered the main area of the loading bay their ears were assaulted by the sound of heavy weapons fire and the sound of screaming. "Hold here and take cover!" Tali ordered. Her remaining squad mates took up position against a grouping of transport containers and she slowly made her way forward, the sounds of battle growing louder and louder in her ears. She climbed through a blown out window in one of the buildings and slowly walked her way to the opposite side. As she peered through a window out to the source of the noise she let out a gasp, her hand rising to where her mouth would be if not for her helmet, in shock.

Prazza's squad, or rather what was left of it, was in the midst of retreating from the huge lumbering form of a YMIR heavy mech. Tali could see several bodies already strewn about with more falling by the second. _Damnit!_ Tali quickly activated her comm. to Shepard. "Shepard we have problems. Veetor has activated a heavy mech; it is currently tearing Prazza's squad apart!" Tali relayed as she watched the mech fire a missile directly in between two of the quarians desperately trying to fight it off, killing both of them instantly and sending their bodies flying.

"Roger that Tali can you open the main access door from your location? We're right outside!"

"Yes, I can do that." She replied as she brought up her omni-tool. "Okay, I'm ready when you are."

"We're ready."

* * *

Shepard and his team watched as the door flew open, finally allowing them entrance into the loading bay. The sounds of explosions, gunfire, and death entered their ears almost immediately.

"Damn quarians got what they deserved." Shepard heard Miranda mutter, more to herself than anyone else as they moved forward.

Shepard chose to simply ignore her. "Miranda, overload the mech's shields and Jacob use your biotics to weaken its armor. Everyone make sure your ammo is set to disruptor." He ordered as they took cover behind several supply crates. They were flimsy and wouldn't withstand the mech's attacks for long once it noticed them, but they didn't have much of a choice.

Shepard watched as the last of the quarians, Prazza if he remembered correctly, took half a dozen shots directly to the chest right in front of him. Shepard made eye contact with the quarian, his eyes full of horror and pain, before his body fell limply to the ground. _What a waste…goddamned idiot._

The squad opened fire on the mech before it had a chance to register their presence. Miranda hit it with an overload depleting the rest of its shields. The mech fired several missiles in quick succession in an attempt to pin the squad in cover.

One of the missiles hit the crate Shepard had taken cover behind directly, shattering it and sending him sprawling backwards. The mech quickly redirected its full attention on him now that he was exposed. As quickly as he could, Shepard crawled over behind a neighboring crate, but not before the mech's machine guns had completely drained his shields.

"Fuck!" Shepard shouted in frustration as he checked his suit for any damage. His ears were ringing, and he could feel the numbing effects of the stims Miranda had given him earlier starting to wear off. The exhaustion and weakness that had become a standard for him was slowly starting to creep back into his muscles. They needed to end this soon or else he would be completely useless, forcing Miranda and Jacob to fight the mech alone.

"Miranda, keep overloading the mech and using your biotics to draw its attention!" Shepard shouted into his calm as a wave of nausea hit him. _Ugh..._"Jacob cover her!" Both responded in the affirmative over the comm.

Shepard drew the grenade launcher from his back and unfolded it. When the light on the side of the weapon flashed green, indicating that it was now online, Shepard stepped from his cover. The mech had its back to him, Miranda and Jacob occupying its complete attention. He braced his body against the crate he had been using for cover and launched a volley directly at the mech's back scoring a direct hit. He was able to get off two more volleys before the mech turned around and raised its arm to fire its own retaliatory shot at him. He threw his body to the ground to dodge the missile; he managed to dodge to impact of the missile but the shock wave of the explosion sent him tumbling head-over-heels. He rolled until he crashed hard into another supply crate, breaking it in the process.

Shepard struggled to pull himself from the rubble of the crate, desperately searching for his grenade launcher. His whole body was shaking with exhaustion and adrenaline. _No, no, no! Shit, shit, shit!_ How could he have been so stupid, taking up a stationary position for his attack on the mech?

As the mech approached him, he noticed its head begin to pulse bright blue. A split second later its head began to implode soon followed by the rest of its body. He looked past the mech to see Miranda standing behind it wrapped in the blue grow of biotic energy. She smiled a wicked smile as she tossed the mech, now just a giant crumpled ball of metal, to the other side of the area they were in, just as its self-destruct protocol kicked in and it exploded.

Miranda grinned wickedly, the expression seemed wrong on her face, as she walked towards Shepard to help him to his feet.

* * *

**The response to the last chapter was great, I really appreciate the feedback. I want you guys to enjoy this story so please leave me a review with what you think about it. Anything to make the story better is welcome. The better I know my audience, the better I can address your desires for the story. Wantt some things to get more or less attention, or want me to explore something that is only minor in the game? Let me know and I will do my best to get it done.**

**The next chapter is the final one on Freedom's Progress and will contain a lot of dialogue between Tali and Shepard one-on-one. So stay tuned all you TalixShepard lovers.**

**Thanks for reading.  
**


	7. Chapter 6: The Beginning

**I said this chapter would be posted on Monday...and it's Wednesday. I don't really have an excuse except that I just didn't really get around to proof reading it until yesterday, which led to a lot of additions. It was difficult to write a balance between having the characters have a chemistry and a strong friendship with romantic undertones, without falling into stuff that was too romantic and sudden given their current status as "just friends". Give me some feedback on how you think I did on that.**

**Disclaimer: No copyright infringement is intended. All characters and events portrayed in this story are the property of the writers and developers at BioWare. I claim no ownership.**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 6: The Beginning  
**

Tali stared down at Shepard from her position inside one of the office units; shock etched into her every feature. Her heart was lodged in her throat.

After Shepard and his team had entered the loading bay Tali had radioed Jaroh and her assistant telling them to come to her position. Tali had stood almost stock-still during the entire course of Shepard and his team's encounter with the YMIR. She watched as Shepard had been tossed around like a rag doll twice by the mech, it seemed almost like Shepard was moving at half-speed. His movements didn't seem as precise or as strong as she remembered them being. While fighting he didn't even seem to be the same person. She had never seen him look so unprepared for combat, so vulnerable. It had frightened her to watch him.

And she watched now as he struggled to pull himself from the ground. The woman in his squad approached him offering him a hand up, but he pushed her away, yelling a human profanity at her. The woman just shook her head and walked away, annoyance on her face as she muttered something that Tali couldn't make out.

Tali observed as Shepard tried to lift himself up on his own, too proud to take any help from the others in his squad. His legs shook and nearly gave out on him before he was finally able to stabilize himself. Was this really Shepard, and if so, what had happened to him? Tali continued to watch him as he placed his hands on his knees, doubled over in pain. She watched as he vomited before standing up straight, his head lolled back as he gasped for breath. Tali didn't remember him looking this bad an hour ago when they had been talking face to face. Had the YMIR hurt him more than he was letting on?

Shepard wiped his mouth with his forearm and took a swig of water from the canteen strapped to his belt and swished it around in his mouth, trying to clear the taste of vomit from it. He spit the water from his mouth and then brought up his comm. link to Tali.

"Tali where are you? Are you alright?" He asked concern in his voice.

"I'm fine, I'm tending to our wounded in one of the offices in the loading bay." Tali replied before asking, "How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine." Shepard responded quickly, coldly.

Tali realized then that Shepard was completely unaware of her watching him during and after the battle. _That's not anything new._ She thought, but dismissed it quickly. She had more important things to do than think about unrequited feelings. "Right…you should go try and find Veetor. Let me know when you do."

* * *

"Let's find this bastard and figure out what the hell happened here." Shepard muttered as he Jacob, and Miranda approached the last building in the loading area, where the enviro-suit signature they were looking for was emanating from. Shepard's mood had soured quickly after the fight with the YMIR. The entire ordeal was more proof of his current lack of ability. He felt weak, helpless, and useless even. He was embarrassed, and his right hand was still shaking.

The door to the cargo hold opened, revealing a darkened room, lit by a massive vid display. A quarian, Veetor, was perched in front of the screen, mumbling incoherently to himself.

"It's about damn time." Miranda said as they walked up behind Veetor. As they drew closer to him, his ramblings began to become more and more coherent.

"Monsters coming back. Mechs will protect. Safe from swarms. Have to hide. No, no, no, no, no, no." The young quarian mumbled hurriedly.

"Veetor?" Shepard asked quietly, hoping not to startle the disturbed alien in front of him.

"Veetor not here. No Veetor. Hiding. Swarms can't find. Safe. Have to hide." Veetor continued to mumble, completely unaffected by Shepard's inquiry.

_Shit, Prazza was right about one thing. This guy is way gone._ "Nobody is going to hurt you Veetor, why don't you tell us what happened?" Shepard said. He sounded calmer and friendly than he felt. He wanted to just throw the quarian to the ground to snap him out of his musings, but that approach would probably not yield any real results.

"He's on another planet right now, Commander. I don't think he even knows we're here." Jacob said as they watched Veetor continue to type, oblivious to their presence behind him. Shepard nodded.

_Be gentle, he is traumatized, it's not his fault._ He reminded himself as he brought up his omni-tool. With a few button presses on his omni-tool Shepard deactivated the screen before them, finally knocking Veetor from his thoughts.

Startled, Veetor blinked several times before he turned around to face the three humans behind him, shocked to see them. "Humans? How…where, did you hide? They didn't find you?" He stated confused.

"Who didn't find us?" Miranda questioned quickly, eager for information.

"The swarms…monsters. They took everyone…everyone but me." He said, his tone haunted. Veetor started twitching, as if he was reliving past events.

"We just got here Veetor, we weren't here when…whatever happened, happened." Shepard stated and motioned for Veetor to continue his story.

"You weren't here? Don't know what happened?" Veetor shuttered. "But I see everything, I watched the monsters." Veetor turned back to the vid display and reactivated the screen. The giant display lit up, revealing creatures loading the colonists into what looked like stasis pods. Shepard squinted as he examined the screen.

"Looks like security footage from the colony's cameras. He must have pieced all the different feeds together manually." Miranda said in an analytical tone.

The camera angle shifted as the feed transferred to another camera, in the corner of the screen stood one of the aliens in plain view, unobstructed. It was darkly colored and tall, at least two meters, it looked bug like. Shepard had never seen anything like it.

"What in the hell is that?" Jacob inquired with a befuddled expression on his face. Identifying alien races wasn't exactly his forte.

Miranda gasped. She had studied almost all of the sapient races in the galaxy extensively, from krogan, to asari, to rachni, and even the revolting vorcha. This being on the screen resembled none of them. There were only two options. This was either a new unidentified species--unlikely--or, "My god…I think it's a Collector."

"That's a Collector? What the hell is it doing out here? Don't they keep to themselves?" Shepard questioned, grateful that Miranda at least had an idea of what the alien on the screen was. Shepard knew of them but had never seen one. They were kind of like the "boogeymen" of the galaxy. He remembered the stories from basic training, the older recruits trying to scare the younger ones with tales of aliens that couldn't be fought, that would simply show up and kidnap entire ships. He, like most recruits, dismissed them as stories designed to scare would-be space travelers. He had been shocked when he had first learned that the Collectors actually existed a few years ago. Before he had been assigned to the Normandy, he and his patrol had stopped a group of batarian pirates from raiding a human transport; the pirates revealed that they were in the employ of the Collectors.

"You're right. They usually work through pirates and other intermediaries." Miranda pinched the bridge of her nose and continued. "This is ridiculous; I can't even remember the last time a Collector sighting was actually reported by someone that wasn't a drunken merc or pirate telling a story in a bar. If the Collectors are working for the Reapers it could explain how they are able to abduct entire colonies. But that doesn't explain why." She finished, getting frustrated. Miranda enjoyed a challenge but the answer to this question only posed more questions.

"The Collectors have advanced technology. Maybe they have a weapon that can disable an entire colony at once?" Jacob interjected, trying to help.

As they continued to debate the possibilities of what and why the Collectors were doing this, Veetor suddenly chimed in, his voice wavering with fear. "Seeker swarms. No one could hide…no one but me. The seekers find you, freeze you. Then the monsters take you away."

"Freeze you? What do you mean?" Shepard asked.

"Probes seem like the most logical explanation, Commander." Miranda answered. "Some type of portable stasis delivery system. It would have to be something that was fast acting, giving the Collectors a quick strike capability that the colony wouldn't be able to defend against." She theorized.

"Makes sense, it would explain why the colonist didn't fight back at all." Shepard nodded his agreement. "But how did they miss Veetor?"

"Maybe his enviro-suit interfered with their sensors or something? The Collectors didn't abduct all the colonies before this without it being traced back to them by being careless." Jacob stated. Shepard nodded, but smirked internally. Jacob was clearly out of his element here, trying to figure out the scientific ins and outs of Collector technology, not that Shepard was an expert. Shepard just knew when to shut up and let the scientists do the thinking.

"Doubtful." Miranda murmured bluntly, she still looked like she was still deep in thought. "Our sensors picked up on Veetor's signature with ease. It's more likely that they're using technology designed specifically to target humans. After all human colonies are the only ones that have been hit."

Miranda quirked her eyebrow as a thought occurred to her. "The Collectors either completely missed Veetor's presence, or more likely, they left him behind intentionally to throw the Alliance completely off anything remotely resembling their trail…at least that's what I would do." Miranda smiled as she continued to follow her current train of thought. "The Alliance would almost certainly take Veetor's presence to mean that quarians were involved somehow. I mean look at him." She said pointing at Veetor. "He's a complete wreck; the Alliance wouldn't buy his story for a second. Hell they wouldn't even buy yours two years ago, Shepard."

Shepard couldn't help but grimace. She was right, about Veetor and about him.

He turned back to look at Veetor, who had been staring at the vid screen ever since the conversation had moved away from what happened to him to more theoretical explanation of the Collectors' motives.

"What happened next, Veetor? What did the Collectors do with the colonists?" Shepard asked softly.

"The monsters took the people onto the ship and left." Veetor practically whispered. "But they'll be back for me! No one escapes!" He barely got out before he started to once again mumble incoherently to himself.

"Thanks, Veetor. We appreciate your help." Shepard told the traumatized quarian. Shepard turned to address Miranda and Jacob about their next move, but was suddenly interrupted by Veetor's voice.

"I studied them. The monsters. The swarms. I recorded them with my omni-tool…lots of readings. Electro-magnetic…dark energy."

"We need that data. That's what we came for. Grab the quarian and his omni-tool and I'll call the shuttle to come pick us up." Miranda chimed in, bringing up her own omni-tool to call their transport.

The door to the room they were in suddenly opened, revealing a clearly incensed Tali'Zorah.

"What!?" Tali shouted enraged. "Veetor is injured and traumatized. He needs medical attention. Not a Cerberus interrogation!" She yelled, pointing an accusatory finger at Miranda. Tali was furious, how could Shepard let this happen? She had just come to check on their progress in finding Veetor. She was worried that he was hiding from them and making things more difficult, and even though she did trust Shepard she didn't trust either of the Cerberus operatives that he was with. Turned out her instincts were right.

Tali looked at Shepard, who was glaring at Miranda. "I trust Shepard, but I don't trust Cerberus. I'll forward Veetor's omni-tool data to you, but I will not give him to you so you can torture him!"

"We won't hurt him. We just need to see if he knows anything else. He'll be returned unharmed." Jacob stated.

"Your people betrayed us once already. Give me one reason to trust you now." Miranda responded quickly and coolly. "If we give him to you we'll never get the data we need." Shepard noted that her hand was hanging over her pistol; she was prepared to take Veetor by force.

"Prazza was an idiot, and he paid for it with his life. I would never promise to give Shepard important information and then go back on my word." Tali spat at Miranda, angry at the human woman's nerve; her own hand hovering over her weapon.

Tali turned back to Shepard, her tone pleading, "Please Shepard, just let me take him."

Shepard studied Tali for a moment before turning back to Miranda "He's traumatized, and he needs medical attention. Even if I did trust your methods, I doubt we would get anything worth interrogating him over. Tali will give us the omni-tool data and take him back to the Flotilla."

Miranda's eyes narrowed as she nodded her ascent. "Understood, Commander."

* * *

Tali had just finished loading the last of the bodies of her crew into the shuttle for the return to the Migrant Fleet. As she stared down at the bodies of her squad mates she could feel the prick of tears at the corners of her eyes.

_If only I had been a better leader, if only I had been stronger. Maybe they wouldn't all be dead_.

Tali couldn't help but feel responsible. Sure, Prazza had undermined her authority, but she knew that her inability to lead had caused unnecessary bloodshed. How was she going to explain this to the Admiralty? To her father? Now the mission to Haestrom would have to be postponed, they would need to prepare a new squad before they could dispatch for the former quarian colony. Kal'Reegar and his team would have to be called back to the fleet, even though they were probably ready to land on Haestrom's surface. All because of her.

"You can't blame yourself, you know?" Shepard's voice snapped her from her reverie. He had a somber look on his face as he approached no doubt picking up on her mood. "Squad members die, and it's hard, but you can't blame yourself for it. Prazza made a decision without thinking, and it cost him and those willing to follow him their lives."

"It's not that simple Shepard. I could have done something to stop them…anything! I'm just not cut out to be a leader, despite how much everyone around me wants me to be one." She sighed continuing. "Prazza was never comfortable serving under me; I should have recognized that my working with you to find Veetor would only push him further towards something like this."

"That's why you're a better leader than you think you are, Tali. You made the right tactical decision, with the intention of minimizing potential casualties. You cared about your squad, and did what you knew was best for them. You were level-headed, while Prazza was blinded by anger and hatred, you can't blame yourself for the decisions of others." Shepard said; he felt like he was lecturing her.

Tali looked up at Shepard who was now standing next to her. He was always so easy to talk to, like he knew just what to say to make her feel better, even if only marginally so. "Thank you, Shepard. I…I suppose it's just new to me, being the leader of my own squad. Everything was so much easier when I just had to follow you around."

"Yeah. Hunting Saren and the geth…good times" Shepard smiled and gazed up at the stars above them for a long quiet moment, trying to figure out how he was going to say what he wanted to. "You know Tali, you don't have to just cut and run. We could work together, just like old times." He brought his eyes back down to look at her. "It would be nice to have a familiar face, a trustworthy one." He smiled.

_Yes!_ Tali's heart leapt, but she didn't answer. She couldn't believe he had asked her this, and she couldn't believe how desperately she wanted to say yes to him. She couldn't though, not now at least, maybe not ever.

"I want to Shepard, but I can't. I've got my own mission. It's too important for me to abandon…even for you." Tali answered, unable to hide the sadness in her voice, and watched as Shepard turned his head away from her. Had he really thought or hoped she would say yes?

After another moment Shepard finally spoke, a grin on his face; it didn't touch his eyes though. "Of course, I'm sorry. It's been two years. I can't just expect you to drop everything and follow me. It's just hard to keep reminding myself that it's been so long."

He didn't know why he asked her, or even what answer he had expected to receive. Of course she would have other duties now; it had been two years after all. _Two years_. The thought worried him. He was sure that most of his team had moved on, but Tali's refusal of his offer to join him was finally making the realization sink in. His old team was probably not coming back. Two years was a long time, at least for everyone outside of Liara and Wrex. He thought of Joker and Anderson and Garrus…_and Ashley_. Would Cerberus be the only ones to have him? It was too early to tell, but the thought chilled him. Would he be alone in this fight with only terrorists to support him?

Tali watched Shepard as he was deep in thought. An awkward silence hung between them. He looked exactly as she remembered him from two years ago and yet somehow older, as if dying and then coming back to life had placed an enormous burden on his shoulders. He looked tired and burnt-out, lonely even. "Where will you go from here?" She asked trying to break the tension between them.

Shepard shook his head, "I don't know. I'm guessing Cerberus has a plan of action." He shrugged.

"Are you really going to continue to work with them after this, after everything they've done?" Tali couldn't keep the shock from her voice.

"I'm afraid they're the only ones that will have me. Where else can I go right now? Everyone but you thinks I'm dead." He muttered.

"I'm still having a hard time believing that you're alive. I watched the Normandy explode with you on it." Tali chuckled slightly. "When I first saw you walk through that door I swore I was just seeing a ghost!"

The smile on Tali's face faded however when she observed Shepard's reaction to her words. He was forlornly staring at his right hand, which she noted was shaking ever so slightly. _So much for breaking the tension Tali, you bosh'tet!_

"I still can't believe it, myself." He whispered as he grabbed his shaking hand with its opposite, trying to make it stop. "I've been awake--alive--for barely twenty-four hours…the attack on the Normandy feels like it was yesterday to me."

Tali looked down at her feet as they shuffled. She felt ashamed at what she had said. She hadn't realized that he had only been up for a day. The revelation was shocking. Twenty-four hours? "I'm sorry Shepard, I didn't mean to…" She trailed off, not sure what she couldn't even say to make him feel any better.

"The last thing I remember clearly is my back breaking against the hull of the Normandy…well that and suffocating." Shepard murmured shaking his head, Tali wasn't sure if he was talking to her or just saying out loud for himself to hear.

Unsure of what to do, Tali placed a comforting hand on Shepard's shoulder. "No matter what happens, I'm glad to have you back, Commander." She said sincerely.

Shepard reached up and squeezed the hand she had placed on his shoulder and smiled sadly. "Thanks Tali, it's good to know that despite everything, you're still the same…you still care."

Shepard looked up at the stars above him, thinking about what was to come. Would he continue to work for Cerberus, would the Council and the Alliance welcome him back, how much had changed in two years?

"People aren't meant to come back from the dead, you know? I just got a bad feeling that I'm about to learn that the hard way." He whispered concern in his voice.

Anxiety slowly began to creep into Tali's being as the intimacy of the moment became clear to her. Shepard's guard was completely down, he was revealing all of his insecurities to her, no smirks or jokes or excessive cursing to try and cover it up like he usually did. He was letting her comfort him. Words seemed to fail her; she didn't know what to say.

"Shepard, if there is anyone who deserves a second chance to finish their life, it's you. You won't take it for granted, I know it, and you'll do what you know is right. I don't think you know how to do things any other way." She said, trying to be comforting.

"Thanks Tali, I appreciate it." He smirked; his walls had been put back in place.

"Any time Shepard." She smiled back, glad she could reassure him.

Shepard's comm. beeped and Jacob's voice followed. "Commander, the shuttle just landed at our position, we're ready to go as soon as you get back."

Shepard sighed before answering, "I'm on my way, Taylor. Be ready for immediate departure."

He looked over at Tali, whose arm hadn't yet left his shoulder. "That's my ride."

Tali resisted the urge to sigh and removed her hand from his shoulder, missing the contact immediately. "I understand, we have our duties."

"Take care of yourself out there Tali'Zorah vas Neema, and good luck on your mission, wherever it takes you." He said.

"I will Shepard, you do the same. I don't want to lose you again, er, that came out wrong…you know what I mean." She blushed, as she continued to fumble for words.

Shepard couldn't help but laugh, at her awkward discomfort. "It's fine. I know what you mean Tali."

Shepard pulled her into one last embrace, "It was great to see you Tali, I'll see you soon I'm sure."

Tali blushed even more as she hugged him back, squeezing a little tighter than was probably appropriate for just friends. "It was nice to see you too Shepard. Stay safe, and I'll hold you to that promise."

They slowly let go of each other and Shepard began to walk away, but not before calling to her over his shoulder, "I'm looking forward to it Miss vas Neema."

* * *

**Well there you have it, Freedom's Progress. Hope the three chapters were worth the read. It may be awhile before the next update, I have several ideas on where I want to go after this chapter, but none are concrete yet, it's going to take a little more fleshing out of each before I pick one. Also with there only being a month and a half left in the semester, I'm going to start getting kind of busy on the school work front, which unfortunately, takes priority over fanfic. **

**All the hits, reviews, favorites, and alerts I've been getting for this and my other story _What is it About Elevators_ have been great. I love the feedback, so please let me know what you think good or bad, and I'll try and address it in the story. **

**There are three things in particular that I wanted to address: First, the portrayal of Miranda thus far. Most of you have said you like it, but a few are concerned that I'm making her a bitch with no personality. I'm not trying to develop a romantic relationship or even a friendship between Miranda and Shepard, more a mutual respect between people who have contrasting viewpoints on many issues, I tried to display that in this chapter, but it's something that will develop more as the story goes on. Second, profanity. This is a mature story that features soldiers prominently. If you have ever been around soldiers, you know that profanity is something that can be used often, especially in the heat of the moment. My Shepard is Earthborn meaning he has had no real formal education an comes from a place where profanity flowed pretty freely from the mouths around him. I don't want to give too much away, but Shepard's past will come up in this story, so his "dirty mouth" will be explained. Finally, Shepard's physical weakness. This was addressed in the second chapter when Shepard wakes up. Cerberus was unable to finish their work on Shepard before they woke him up due to the attack, so they didn't finish preparing his muscles for use after two years of being dead and not used. This is something that will get better over time, but right now Shepard doesn't completely feel like his usual healthy self.  
**

**Thanks for reading!  
**


	8. Chapter 7: Friends

**Hey guys! Sorry it's been a long while (a month almost, I think), but as I said in my last update, school has been really really crazy for the last month or so. I've had some free time to work on this finally so I wanted to post something as quickly as possible. I hope I haven't lost too many readers because I've been away for so long. The good news is that there is only 2 weeks left in the semester, which means soon I'll be able to update pretty regularly again. The bad news is that I still have a ton of work to do, so this may be the only update for another two weeks, which is sad because this isn't really a cool chapter in my opinion.**

**Disclaimer: I do not claim any ownership of Mass Effect or its characters, story lines, dialogue, histories, or anything else. All of that is property of BioWare and the awesome folks who work there.**

**

* * *

  
**

**Chapter 7: Old Friends**

The flight back to the Cerberus station was a silent one. Shepard sat opposite Jacob and Miranda in the shuttle, arms crossed and face completely devoid of expression. He took notice of the fact that Jacob seemed anxious, as if waiting for something. _Is he waiting for me to say something?_

He resisted the urge to roll is eyes at the soldier in front of him. What did the guy want from him? They had just found out that humans were being abducted by an alien race that no one knew the first thing about, and that they were being taken alive for unclear reasons, to a location that no one had ever returned alive from.

Shepard had nothing to say to him, or at least nothing that the Cerberus operative wanted to hear. His mind was all over the place at the moment, although no one would be able to tell from looking at his blank expression. He had been given life again and he didn't know what to do with it. That was a lie, he knew what he _had _to do with it, but he didn't know where to start or who to turn to. He had been promised answers, but they were illusory at best and just raised more questions. And he had a feeling that that was the point. Shepard knew deep down that the Illusive Man wanted him confused and grasping at straws like this, it would guarantee that Shepard would continue to need him for the answers he so desperately craved, and thus Shepard would continue to work for him.

"The Illusive Man will want to speak to you as soon as we land, Commander." Miranda's voice broke Shepard from his reverie. Perhaps it was just him, but he could have sworn that he detected a vaguely concerned note in her voice. He brushed it off, _just the tricks of a tired mind._ He thought pointedly. He hadn't said anything to tip her off, and only those few who knew him well knew that his current blank expression was a sign that he was troubled, and that was a very privileged few.

"I suppose I owe him as much." Shepard nodded as the shuttle's pilot notified them that they would be landing at the station shortly.

* * *

"Shepard. Good work on Freedom's Progress." The Illusive Man greeted him, feigned sincerity dripping from each congratulatory word. Shepard didn't understand why the man even bothered with the pretense of pleasantries. Shepard had enough experience dealing with politicians and 'businessmen' to recognize a genuine greeting from a forced one.

"The quarians forwarded their findings from Veetor's debriefing and omni-tool." He continued, "There was no new data to speak of, but it's a surprising olive branch, given our history." The Illusive Man smirked at some private joke as he finished, taking a prolonged drag from his cigarette as he did so. Although Shepard would have preferred to be able to meet the Illusive Man in person, he was glad for the distance if only so he did not have to inhale the fumes coming from the cigarette pressed between his shadowy backer's lips. Just seeing the gray puffs of smoke floating in front of him caused Shepard's teeth to tingle and his salivary glands to begin to overproduce salvia and coat his mouth in a thick film; a habitual reaction caused by years of constant smoking as a kid on Earth. Even now, over a decade after quitting, he still felt his body and mind yearning for a drag so that the nicotine could put him at ease.

"You and I have different methods, but I can't argue with your results." The Illusive Man shrugged, brushing off Shepard's success as if it were dirt on his well tailored suit.

"Backhanded compliments aside, have you ever considered the possibility of playing nice with others once in a while?" Shepard mocked.

The Illusive Man shook his head, acting as if he was being forced to explain some inane subject to a child. "It's a funny thing--diplomacy. It's great when it works, but difficult when everybody already perceives you as a threat to their well-being."

"Gee, imagine that. I wonder whose fault it is that Cerberus has that kind of reputation?" Shepard asked sarcastically. It was only his second conversation with the so-called Illusive Man, and yet Shepard already found himself sick of the man's penchant for lectures and frivolous conversation.

"There's no need to be childish, Shepard. I'm merely stating the facts, and we have far more important things to discuss." He continued without missing a beat. "Your findings confirmed that the Collectors are indeed behind the abductions."

"So you knew about them already?" Shepard inquired raising an eyebrow as he crossed his arms across his chest.

"I had my suspicions, but no proof to support them. The Collectors are enigmatic at best. But now, thanks to you, my suspicions have been confirmed." He smirked as he put out the butt of his cigarette in the ashtray that was built into his chair's armrest.

"The Collectors periodically travel to the Terminus Systems and gather seemingly random and what are generally unimportant items and specimens." The Illusive Man said matter-of-factly. Shepard felt his blood heat as he was once again reminded of why Cerberus was everything he had worked against as he listened to the Cerberus head casually refer to the various races abducted by the Collectors as nothing more than 'unimportant items and specimens'.

"When the Collectors get what they came for, and they always do, they disappear as quickly as they arrived; vanishing beyond the unmapped Omega-4 Relay. Until now we've had no evidence of direct aggression by the Collectors themselves; they usually deal through mercs and pirate bands. This sudden direct intervention by them is…disconcerting, to say the least."

"What do the Collectors even get from these deals?" Shepard questioned, genuinely curious.

"The Collectors aren't exactly very forthcoming with their motives." The Illusive Man answered, an amused tone lacing his voice, "Generally, they seek out species with rare genetic mutations or abnormalities. Our intel suggests that quarians and krogan were both targets of the Collectors at different points in time, however, the average size of a group abducted by the Collectors is usual in the dozens, hundreds tops on rare occasions. Now they are abducting humans by the tens of thousands."

"Why the sudden change? Do you have any idea why they've suddenly shifted their focus to humans?" The questions poured out against Shepard's will. He knew what the Illusive Man was doing, dangling important information in front of him and using his natural curiosity and need to know against him--it was working.

The Illusive Man's expression grew grave as he answered. "If the Collectors are working for the Reapers, it could be any number of reasons. What concerns me is why they are bothering to abduct the colonists in the first place. Once the humans are paralyzed, why not just kill them? I want to know what they are doing with them."

"Is that genuine concern I hear?"

The Illusive Man simply rolled his eyes as he proceeded to light up another cigarette. "Please. You may not trust me Shepard but remember Cerberus is pro-human. We work for the good of all humans, and if an alien race is targeting humans for some reason, it is our job to stop them. Judge us not by our methods but what we hope to accomplish. We are on the same side; make no mistake about that, Shepard. Don't let your idealism blind you to that truth."

"Fine, I'll drop it for now. But you're holding something back. How do you know that the Collectors are working for the Reapers? You don't seem like the type that would go through all this trouble just because you had a 'suspicion'." Shepard accused.

"The patterns are there, buried in the data, you only have to look at it to see where I'm coming from Shepard." He waved off the subject non-pulsed. "The Council and the Alliance want to believe the Reaper threat died with Sovereign; they'd like to simply ignore this threat until it's at their door step. You and I both know better."

He stood up from his chair and turned his back to Shepard, facing the dying star whose image took up the entire back wall of the room. "I won't wait until the Reapers are on the march. I'm sure you've already gathered that just wouldn't be my style." He turned back to once again face Shepard, removing the cigarette that had been pressed between his lips from its perch. "We need to take the fight to them."

"You're talking about fighting a goddamned war. I'll need an army for an operation like this, but I have a feeling that's not what you have in mind." Shepard retorted bluntly as he placed his hands behind his back.

"Cerberus doesn't work that way Shepard, and we've already sunk a heavy portion of our resources into bringing you back." The Illusive Man indicated as he brought up a display terminal from one of his chair's arms and began typing. "I've compiled a list of soldiers, scientists, and mercenaries. You'll get dossiers on the very best of them."

Shepard's omni-tool beeped as he received the dossiers the Illusive Man was just talking about as the man continued to talk, not missing a beat. "Finding all of them and convincing them to help you could prove…challenging, but you are a natural born leader."

Shepard had begun shaking his head before the Illusive Man had even finished, "Keep your lists. I want people I trust--the ones who helped me stop Saren and the geth. I want my team." He said firmly.

"That was two years ago, Shepard. People change. Most of your old team members have moved on…or their allegiances have changed."

_Right, two years. Still having a hard time with that._ Shepard thought. He remembered Tali on Freedom's Progress. Tali had been so dedicated to the mission and so steadfast in following Shepard's lead during their time hunting Saren and even she had turned down a chance to help him now because she had more important missions to undertake. If Tali, the most selfless person on his team, could turn him down what were the chances of someone like Wrex deciding to drop everything and join him again? Only now that he didn't have them did Shepard realize how lucky he was to have the team that he had had. It had been a perfect storm of miracles and luck that had brought his original team together, and Shepard knew he probably wasn't going to catch lightening in a bottle again. But that wouldn't keep him from trying.

"Where's Garrus Vakarian?" Shepard asked first. Garrus had said he would go back to C-Sec after their mission to stop Saren was over, and he was even going to reapply for Spectre candidacy and training. Surely Garrus was either on the Citadel working with C-Sec or the Council would know of his whereabouts in regards to his Spectre activities. If there was one man that Shepard was sure would want to join him on a suicide mission, it was Garrus.

To say the Illusive Man's answer surprised Shepard was an understatement. "Your turian comrade disappeared a few months after you were declared dead. He simply quit C-Sec one day and vanished. Even we haven't been able to get a fix on his location."

_Goddamnit Garrus, you hotheaded turian bastard._ Shepard lamented. He could picture it in his head, Garrus storming into Pallin's office and throwing his badge right in the executor's face and then angrily marching out never to be heard from again.

Shepard felt his stomach start to knot up as he prepared to ask about the next name in his mind. Ashley. Aside from Garrus, Ashley seemed like the surest bet to Shepard. She was devoted and determined in everything she did, and Shepard was sure she would jump at the chance to join him again to stop the new threat to humanity. But that wasn't the only reason he wanted her to join him, he knew deep down that he had much more personal reasons for wanting her to be available.

His mind inadvertently traveled back to the night before Ilos, he could still smell the cheap perfume she had put on before coming to his room. He had teased her about that. And she had teased him back for being able to smell the difference between cheap and expensive women's perfume. Shepard had to fight to keep the smile from his voice as he asked the Illusive Man about her, his past memories clouding his current judgment.

"What about Ashley Williams?" He asked, keeping his voice level in doing so.

"She's still with the Alliance. Promoted, finally an officer I believe. Her file is surprisingly well-classified by Alliance standards."

Now things were going to start to get iffy. Liara's and Wrex's availability were unknowns to Shepard. He trusted them of course and he knew they were loyal, but asari and krogan dealt with life and death differently than other species did. When you can live to be over one thousand years old you have a different philosophy on the death of friends. Wrex was a krogan and he had been a merc. Death was a constant part of his life; krogan accepted it and moved on. Liara, while sensitive and even naïve was still an asari that would outlive him practically ten times over. Would she just have accepted his death and have moved on with her long life?

"Where's Liara T'Soni?"

The Illusive Man subtly rolled eyes, realizing that Shepard was going to make him go through his entire crew before he accepted the truth. "She's on Illium. My sources tell me that she's working for the Shadow Broker now. If that's true she can't be trusted." He crossed his left leg over his right as he sat in his chair and continued. "And before you bother to ask, since it's apparent that you refuse to see the truth of the situation, Urdnot Wrex is on the krogan home world, Tuchanka. He hasn't gone off world in well over a year. He's trying to unite the krogan clans under one banner."

_Liara and the Shadow Broker?_ _What?_ Wrex on Tuchanka made sense, Shepard could accept that. But his mind was reeling from the thought of Liara as an information broker. If the Illusive Man was indeed being truthful, what did that mean? Had Liara really changed that much in 2 years?

Shepard laughed in spite of himself as he asked about his final former teammate, already knowing the answer, but still too stubborn to admit that they were all gone. "What about Tali? She already helped me on Freedom's Progress."

The Illusive Man's eyes narrowed imperceptibly as he replied. "That was unexpected, she's an unknown; I need more information on her before I'll commit to that." A smirk drew across his face as he continued. "Besides, according to Miranda's report she wasn't too thrilled to see you working with us, and even refused to join you on Freedom's Progress when you asked her."

_Thanks for the reminder, asshole. As if I didn't remember._ Shepard thought with mild frustration.

He shook his head as he tried to clear his mind of his swirling thoughts. Shepard crossed his arms across his chest and leaned his weight back on his right leg. "Alright I get it, they're all unavailable." His voice sounded less even than he would have liked it to as he responded. "But I am still a Spectre. I could get the Council to help me; they do owe me pretty much everything after all."

"If you think you can convince them, by all means, please. But it's my understanding that the Council has always been rather…hesitant, in hearing you out." The Illusive Man put out the remainder of his second cigarette as he continued. "Just remember--you've been gone for a long time. Things have changed. I wouldn't expect too much from them."

"I'll worry about that." The frustration he had felt building within him during the course of their entire conversation finally breaking through his calm facade. "You may have brought me back, but that doesn't mean I trust you in the slightest. I've destroyed numerous Cerberus bases and I'd do it all again in the blink of an eye. You people are responsible for the death of my entire unit on Akuze and for the death of Kahoku and all his marines, not to mention dozens of other criminal acts you've perpetrated!" He pointed his finger accusatorily at the man in front of him who was still sitting calmly. "You might think I owe you something but I know your type. You're just as likely to throw me to the wolves as you are to help me defeat the Reapers, whichever is more convenient."

"Are you finished?" The Illusive Man asked after a beat, as he stood up from his chair. When Shepard didn't respond he simply continued. "I understand you may have reservations about working with us Shepard, but you need to understand something." The man sighed pinching the bridge of his nose, his own frustrations slipping to the surface. "You are a very large investment, one that I would never just simply discard. But more importantly, you need to understand that we are on the same side here, we are both working towards the same goal. You might not like it, but you're soon going to learn the hard way that Cerberus is all you have right now."

"Is that a threat?" Shepard inquired angrily.

"Hardly." He chuckled. "You have no idea the things the Council and Alliance said about you and the things you said after your death. Hearing it from me probably won't change your mind, but you should ask your friend Councilor Anderson the next time you see him." He smirked slightly, "I think you'll understand why you need us after you hear what he has to tell you."

"I'll make that decision for myself." Shepard huffed, pressing his mouth into a hard line as he finished.

"Suit yourself Shepard, but remember the old saying: 'the enemy of my enemy is my friend'. The Reapers and Collectors are a threat to the entire galaxy and you're our greatest hope in stopping that threat. I recognized that and brought you back so that you could continue that fight--despite your checkered history with Cerberus. Don't be so naïve as to throw away a willing ally."

_He's right…and he knows it--I know it_, Shepard thought as he stood staring at the Illusive Man. As much as Shepard wanted to hate the man and walk away from Cerberus right now, he had nowhere to go yet. He didn't know where to start with the Collectors--he really didn't know the first thing about them--who to recruit, hell, he didn't even have a ship! The Council would flip a shit if he just showed up on the Citadel unannounced and told them he was alive. He'd be stuck in red tape for months while they debated his reappearance.

Shepard sighed in defeat, his voice monotone, "You just worry about the Collectors, and I'll worry about getting a team ready. I'll deal with my…allegiance, later"

"Good." The Illusive Man nodded. "Two things before you go: First, head to Omega and find Doctor Mordin Solus. He's a brilliant salarian scientist. Our intelligence suggests he may be able to develop a counter-measure to the Collectors' paralyzing seeker swarms."

"Is that an order?" Shepard scoffed.

"I'm giving you direction." The Illusive Man shot back--sounding like he had just barely been able to stop himself from calling Shepard 'boy'.

"Alright, alright, what's the other thing?" Shepard asked.

"I've found a pilot I think you might like. I hear he's one of the best." The Illusive Man said while simultaneously bringing up a vid display from one of his chair's armrests. "Someone you can trust." He said as he pressed a button on the blue vid display, ending their conversation.

As the orange grid of the bizarre communication system the Illusive Man used faded away around him, Shepard suddenly heard a familiar voice call out to him from behind.

"Hey, Commander. Just like old times, huh?" Joker called out to Shepard, a goofy smile on his face.

* * *

"I can't believe it's you, Joker." Shepard said as they proceeded to walk towards the station's primary hanger.

"Look who's talking! I saw you get spaced." Joker shot back lightheartedly, in the way that only he could.

"Yeah, I never really thanked you for that." Shepard muttered, causing Joker to stop suddenly right in front of him, causing Shepard to almost run into him.

"Shepard…I, I didn't mean…" Joker sputtered, his face flooding with guilty as he began to stare at the floor.

"Frankly, I don't know whether I want to hug you or hit you right now. Being spaced really wasn't fun." Shepard spoke darkly, cracking his knuckles as he did so.

Joker's eyes shot up from the floor and met Shepard's as the blood completely drained from his face, horror etched into his features. "Shepard! Come on, I swear! You don't know how upset I was! I…I--you wouldn't hit a guy with brittle bones?" Joker begged as his voice rose in fear.

Shepard shook his head as he watched Joker tremble in front of him, a soft laugh escaping from his lips. "I'm just fucking with you, Joker." Causing him to laugh harder.

"Right, asshole. You sure are funny, Shepard. Glad to see that hasn't changed" Joker muttered sarcastically.

"How the hell did you end up with Cerberus anyway?" Shepard inquired, his tone growing more serious.

"It all fell apart without you, Commander. Everything you stirred up, the Council just wanted it gone. I don't know if the Illusive Man told you what they said about you, but it aint pretty." Joker continued, disdain seeping into his voice. "The team was broken up, records sealed up tight, and I was grounded."

"The Alliance took away the only thing that mattered to me. Hell yeah I joined Cerberus." He spat.

"Do you really trust Cerberus?" Shepard asked; concerned that Joker had let his frustration and ridiculous urge to fly blind him to the potential hazards Cerberus presented.

"I don't trust anyone who makes more than I do." He said matter-of-factly.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"Hey you asked!" Joker shouted defensively as the two of them stopped in front of a view port into the currently dark hanger bay. "They aren't all bad. I mean the saved your life. Let me fly--and there's this."

The lights to the hanger bay began to flicker on one at a time in front of them, revealing a ship docked within it.

_No way._

See the look on Shepard's face, Joker smiled a large, tooth-filled grin. "They only told me last night." He said, his voice full of an almost childlike joy.

Shepard couldn't believe it. _Same design. I can't believe it. Could use a new paint job though._ He thought as he observed the large Cerberus emblem painted onto the side of the ship that looked like identical to the Normandy in every way, except for the fact that it was at least double the original's size.

"Holy shit." Was the only thing that fell from Shepard's already parted lips.

"I know. Feels good to be home, huh, Commander?" Joker asked, the awe in his own voice undisguised.

"I guess we'll have to give her a name?"

* * *

**So yeah, not really my favorite chapter of this story. Not by a long shot, but similarly to the chapter on the Lazarus Station it is kind of necessary for plot reasons. Also I didn't include the first chat with TIM so I thought I would work him in here. I plan on expanding on the Council's stonewalling of Shepard in this story, which is why it plays a larger role in this chapter. Also I think Joker definitely deserved the mean joke, I was mad in the game that Shepard was so forgiving of Joker getting him killed...damn Seth Green.  
**

**Anyways, not my favorite chapter, and not what I want to leave you guys with for the better part of 2 weeks, but I'm not really in a position to work on this without sacrificing my grades. Bullshit I know, but that's the world.**

**Please read and review if you can, let me know you still are interested in this story and tell me what I could do better for future chapters. People complained about the profanity in previous chapters, so I toned it down a little (in my opinion) here without completely eliminating it. **

**Thanks for reading and I'll hopefully see you all in 2 weeks!  
**


End file.
